


Shut Out the Light and Lead Me Somewhere

by whispered_story



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, First Time, Jensen/JDM (not main pairing), Jensen/Others - Freeform, M/M, Mild Kink, Prostitution, Threats of non-con, spn_reversebang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 11:54:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9606554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: Jensen needs money and he needs it quickly. He never thought he'd be desperate enough to turn to prostitution, but it fixes things – until it doesn't.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fic beta'd by [dancing_adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift/pseuds/Dancing_Adrift)! 
> 
> Title taken from Kris Kristofferson's "Stranger".
> 
> This fic was written for [dephigravity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dephigravity/pseuds/dephigravity)'s prompt "Tuition Assistance". Go check out his beautiful art [here](http://dephigravity.livejournal.com/122711.html) or [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9604994) (there is additional art there, too!) and tell him how freaking amazing he is!
> 
>   
> 

"You could _probably_ make a lot of money as a sex worker, you know that?"

The words, spoken lightly, make Jensen look up at his roommate across the room. Matt is sitting on his bed, back propped up against the wall, reading a comic. Jensen thought he was totally engrossed in that thing, but apparently not enough not to take note of what Jensen has been doing. He's been sitting on his own bed, counting what little money is left in his wallet. He's been trying to look casual and not like he's trying to see for how much longer he can afford to buy food this month and how it's making the ever-present feeling of unease in the pit of his stomach double. But he's obviously not doing a good job at it.

"Funny," he snarks and pushes the coins into a small heap, hastily, angrily, before dropping them back into his wallet.

"I'm not kidding," Matt says, shrugging. "You like sex, dude. And everyone is always all up in arms about how pretty you are. Every guy who is even remotely into guys wants your ass. And I bet pervy old men would be willing to pay a hell of a lot of money to get into your pants. Sounds like a good combination and it'd solve your money problems."

"You want me to sell myself on some street corner?" Jensen asks, not sure whether to feel baffled or insulted. He's desperate, sure, but not _that_ desperate. Not yet anyway. Ask him in another month, and all bets might be off.

Matt rolls his eyes at him. "It's not all street corners and skeevy bars. It doesn't have to be like that," he says. "You know my buddy Misha, right?"

"The weird dude who is high all the time?" Jensen asks.

"Only some of the time, actually. He just comes across that way."

"Okay," Jensen says, drawing the word out. In all honesty, Misha is strange, but he seems like a pretty cool, funny guy... who maybe got dropped on the head a few times too often in his life. "What about him?"

"He used to work for this agency. _L.A. Escorts_ or something cheesy like that."

"Misha was an _escort_?" Jensen snorts, trying to picture it. It's not that Misha isn't a somewhat attractive guy, he supposes, but he's not exactly what pops into his head when he thinks of an escort. When Jensen thinks of arm-candy, he pictures either smoking hot guys that could be models or pretty, young twinks. Misha is neither of those things. And he likes to go on and on about weird stuff, like conspiracy theories and possible alien invasions and freaking unicorns — Jensen can't imagine that being a welcome topic of conversation in the escort business. Most people who meet him either assume he's on drugs or there's something seriously wrong with him for a reason.

"There actually isn't a lot of escorting happening, as far as I know," Matt says casually, smirking as he crosses his legs. "But since prostitution isn't exactly legal, they probably needed a cover or something. I think they basically just hook pretty, young guys and girls up with rich people looking to get laid and willing to pay horrendous amounts of money for it."

"Oh," Jensen says. "Wait, Misha was seriously a hooker?"

Matt grins and shrugs. "Crazy, right?" he asks. "But he only did it for a little time. Said he wanted to experience what it was like or some shit like that."

"And you're telling me he isn't high all of the time?" Jensen asks, huffing. 

Matt laughs.

"Yeah, I know, right? But seriously, he told me some stuff about it. It didn't sound that bad, all things considered. The agency is, like, super exclusive and all the clients are loaded," he explains. "Misha made a shit ton of money and he didn't work there that long."

"How much money are we talking?" Jensen asks carefully, though he tells himself he's not actually interested. Sure, the way Matt tells it it actually doesn't sound too bad, the whole prostitution thing aside. Jensen does like sex, _loves_ sex, and college boys don't really do much for him — he's given his fair share of them a try, but he doesn't have the patience for inexperienced frat boys. The only time Jensen was truly interested in someone was when he was dating a visiting professor twice his age last semester, though it had fizzled out quickly when the guy had gotten cold feet about dating a student. It had been an eye-opening experience for Jensen, though, being with someone older, someone more mature. So sleeping with older guys really doesn't sound all that bad, as long as they're not _ancient_.

And he does need money. God, does he need money. At this point, he isn't sure how he's going to make it to the end of the month, much less pay for tuition next semester. 

Matt smirks knowingly at him. "Enough that you wouldn't have to worry about a thing, dude."

Jensen can't stop thinking about Matt's suggestion.

It's a little scary how quickly the thought of selling his body stops being scary. Dropping out of college and not having enough money to get by certainly seems a lot scarier than having sex. And sure, so far Jensen always got to choose who he wanted to sleep with, but Matt wasn't wrong when he said Jensen loves sex. He does. And he's good at it, too. And being paid for it — being able to go to college and feed himself — seems like a good deal. Or at least not a bad one, all things considered.

So when he finds a business card on his desks a few days later, no doubt left there by Matt, it only takes one more day of thinking things through before he gives in and calls _L.A. Escorts_.

Briana, the owner of the agency — who insists Jensen call her by her first name halfway through their conversation — asks him to send him a couple of photos. She calls him back less than thirty minutes after Jensen sends the email with two photos of himself attached — a portrait and full-body shot that are both pretty recent — and he has a meeting with her two days later. He barely sleeps the night before, worry and a weird sense of excitement — because this could fix all of his worries and Jensen is so damn sick of worrying — keeping him up for hours.

Briana takes one look at him and her smile goes from polite to wide and excited, her eyes roaming over him unabashedly. 

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jensen," she says, shaking his hand before offering him a seat.

Jensen sits down, trying not to show how nervous he is. Nervous because he's applying to be a hooker and nervous because he really needs to not fuck this up.

"I really appreciate you inviting me here," he says politely. He wonders, briefly, what his parents would think if they knew. If this would be even worse than him being gay — sadly enough, he thinks it probably wouldn't be. The way they acted when Jensen came out to them — the hateful words and accusations –, Jensen doubts there's anything he could do or be that would be worse for them.

"I'll be honest, I think you'll fit in quite well with us," Briana says, giving him another once-over, smiling. "Of course, I'll want to get to know you a little better first. There are strict rules we have that we expect everyone to follow, and you'd have to do a full health check if you want to work for us. Now, you said a friend of yours worked for us before?"

"Uh, a friend of my roommate's, actually. Misha Collins," Jensen says.

Briana's lips twitch into an amused smile. "Ah, Misha," she says, sounding quite fond. "So, then you know what we'd expect from you? What this job _requires_?"

"Yes, ma'am," Jensen says, and Briana nods, looking satisfied.

"Good. As you can imagine, it's a bit tricky, this business," she says and winks at him. "But I have a good feeling about you, Jensen. If we come to an agreement, I think the clients are going to love you."

Jensen ducks his head a little. "Thank you," he says and licks his lips. The thought of the clients making a number of thoughts speed through his head. Who they are, what kind of men and women use services like this.

Knowing he's probably going to find out soon makes him feel, strangely enough, excited as well as scared.

The rules are pretty simple.

Condoms are non-negotiable. The clients are in charge, within reason — they're not allowed to leave serious marks or hurt Jensen in anyway, but other than that all bets are off. He's allowed to accept tips, but isn't allowed to ask for them. He can't disclose the clients' names to anyone, no matter what. And he always has to call and check in after a job is finished.

Briana gives him a printed copy of the rules and makes him fill out a questionnaire about his likes and dislikes, his hard noes. She looks it over while Jensen is still there, nodding and seeming pleased by his answers.

Jensen goes to the doctor's for a check-up the following week and has them test him for every STD imaginable. A test he will have to repeat regularly.

When the results are in — all clean, like Jensen expected — he hands them in at the agency. And then he goes home, distracts himself with studying and his job at a restaurant near campus, and waits for Briana to call him about his first appointment.

The first time is both the easiest and the hardest.

Jensen has to talk himself off the brink of a panic attack before he walks into the hotel where he's meeting with the client, stomach in knots and palms sweaty. As much as he'd accepted that he was doing this, actually being there in that moment is nerve-wrecking. Terrifying.

He's pretty sure the moment he knocks on the door, after checking the piece of paper with a room number that Briana's assistant had passed on to him a billion times, is one of the hardest things he ever had to do, ranking only second to coming out to his family. 

Luckily, it's much less of a cluster fuck. It's not even bad.

He's pretty sure Briana made sure to pick an easy job for him the first time around. The guy, Jeff, is a business man from out of town, who uses the agency's services whenever he's in the city. He's an older guy — around forty, Jensen would guess –, his dark hair and beard already going a bit gray in places. He's also pretty damn hot and, to Jensen's pleasant surprise, quite nice. They talk a bit at first, Jeff offering Jensen a drink, which he politely declines. Jeff tells him a little about his job — nothing specific, just a few amusing stories about clients and meetings — and asks about Jensen as well. He doesn't look surprised when Jensen tells him he's in college.

"That shit's damn expensive, huh?" he says, smiling kindly.

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and feels a lot more at ease.

By the time they move things to the bed, Jensen is pretty damn sure Briana picked one of the nicest guys they had on the client list for his first job and the next hours don't disprove his theory. 

Jeff is good in bed and he isn't as selfish as Jensen thought a guy who is paying him to do what he wants would be. He's clearly in charge, taking what he wants, but he makes sure Jensen is having a good time, too. Jensen prepped himself before he came — Briana advised him to, just in case — but Jeff still takes some time to finger him open while they make out.

Then he fucks Jensen from behind, all smooth, hard thrusts that have Jensen rocking back eagerly, the deep slide of Jeff's thick cock inside of him nearly perfect. And each moan from Jensen seems to spur Jeff on, make him thrust a little harder, whisper to Jensen how hot he is, how much he likes hearing him.

"Feels good, baby?" he asks as he drives in hard, and Jensen moans encouragingly with each thrust. "Fuck, I love hearing you. You just make the sweetest noises."

It's good, clean fun and Jensen isn't sure what it says about his sex life, but it's probably one of the best fucks he's ever had. 

Afterwards, Jeff pulls him against his chest, guides Jensen's face to his with his fingers under Jensen's chin, and kisses him square on the mouth. "You're fucking amazing, baby," he murmurs.

"Right back at you," Jensen says, still breathless, and really means it. He's sated and sore in the best way possible, all of his worries and fears gone now. 

Jeff paid for the entire night, so Jensen stays until the next morning. He sucks Jeff off, enjoying the way he has Jeff writhing and gasping his name as he uses every trick he's ever learned. They sleep on their own sides of the bed, not curled up together, but it's still nice. And in the morning Jeff asks Jensen to ride him and then orders them a big breakfast before sending Jensen on his way.

"I hope to see you again," he says after kissing Jensen goodbye at the door.

Jensen gives him his best flirty grin. "I think that's up to you, so..."

"Yeah, we're definitely seeing each other again then, baby," Jeff promises.

Jensen meets with clients about two or three times a week. Sometimes, if it's just for a couple of hours, he works during the week, but when a client asks for an entire night Briana usually only schedules him for weekends. She's pretty good about it, respects the fact that Jensen has classes and works around it.

The first few weeks, Jensen gets assigned different clients. He's the new guy, so he knows he can't be picky and none of the guys are really bad. The sex isn't always great and Jensen doesn't _like_ every guy he has, as Briana calls them, 'dates' with. But it's his job and after a while, Jensen gets used to it. He becomes better at faking it, at tuning guys out when he needs to, and at least they all stick to the rules.

These are all rich guys. Incredibly rich guys. And in a way that's part of what keeps Jensen safe, because they all have a lot to lose. Their reputation, their high-paying jobs and standing in society, their families. So they know not to do anything to seriously endanger those things. That knowledge is what reassures Jensen, what makes the dates a whole lot less terrifying, knowing how much these men depend on him to be discreet, to keep his mouth shut. It doesn't matter how many forms he's signed, knowing their secret, _being_ their secret, gives Jensen power over them, too.

It makes his job a whole lot easier. That, and the money. The money is _spectacular_. Enough that Jensen can quit his job at the restaurant, where the pay was crap anyway. The first paycheck he gets nearly makes him want to cry and he rewards himself by splurging on a coffee with whipped cream and sprinkles and caramel sauce. It's way too sweet for his taste, but it might just be the best thing he ever had anyway. Paying for it without having to count the last coins in his wallet, without having to worry about whether or not he can afford it, lifts a weight off his shoulders that has been dragging him down for months. 

He makes enough money to put a portion of it aside for tuition and still pay for all his expenses and then some. He even buys himself a couple of new shirts and jeans, a new pair of sneakers. Matt smiles knowingly when he sees the stuff.

"Good for you," he says, sounding genuine, and Jensen has never been more grateful to have him as a roommate. They're not close friends, but Matt has always been incredibly chill. He didn't bat an eyelash when Jensen told him he was gay, spotted him some money when Jensen really needed it, and apparently doesn't care that his roommate sleeps with men for money either. He doesn't start treating Jensen differently, doesn't make snide comments, and when nobody in the dorms even so much as looks at him weirdly, Jensen quickly realizes Matt didn't tell a single soul about what he's doing either.

And so for the first time in months, Jensen feels like maybe things are going to be okay. That he'll be able to stay in college, pay for it all by himself, and work toward making a life for himself.

"We're getting requests specifically for you from some of your clients," Briana says, looking a little smug, four weeks into Jensen working for her.

She makes all of the boys and girls that work for her come in every other week for a meeting with her to touch base, asking about clients and if there are any issues that came up. Jensen knows it's not just her being caring and nice — behind the smile and kind face, she's all business and they're what's bringing in the cash. Jensen has met a few of the other people who work for her when he's dropped in over the last few weeks and he's talked to a few of them, even had coffee with one of the guys, Tom, who's in the grad program at UCLA and has worked for Briana for a couple of years now. Jensen enjoyed hanging out with him, but more than that he really liked hearing about his experiences, getting some pointers from him and finding out some gossip. Everyone seems to respect Briana a whole lot and Tom told him not to underestimate her. She will take care of everyone as best as she can, but she expects them to function and bring in cash in return.

Jensen, luckily, seems to be doing fine. 

"That's good, right?" he asks, getting more comfortable in his chair, relaxing a little.

"It's very good," Briana confirms. "But then again, I would want to see someone who looks like you again, too."

She grins and Jensen feels himself blushing a little at the compliment.

"So," she continues. "You'll start taking on a few regulars from now on. It's really where the money is at. It's good when they get attached... as long as they don't get _too_ attached."

There's a warning in those words as well as well-meant advice, and Jensen nods quickly. Briana gives him a smile in return.

"Great. Let's talk clients then," she says and claps her hands.

There are a few guys Jensen would rather have as regular clients than others.

He isn't naïve. He went into this knowing full well he wouldn't like some of his clients. That some of them might treat him like shit. As much as he enjoys getting laid and having money — an incredible amount of money, really, compared to before — being a rentboy, even an expensive one, isn't a _fun_ job. His life isn't the stuff dreams are made of. He's okay with that, because it's worth it. Getting a degree and making something of himself, despite all the obstacles he's had to face, is worth all of the shit that has been thrown his way and much more.

He'd still rather _not_ have Mark Pellegrino as a regular client. Pellegrino is the kind of guy who's a scumbag without ever breaking the rules Briana sets for everyone. He's rough without ever causing Jensen any serious pain, treats him badly without ever giving Jensen anything to complain to Briana about.

Whenever he meets up with him, Jensen preps himself carefully, knowing Pellegrino doesn't like to waste time in foreplay. He grits his teeth through the names Pellegrino calls him, the belittling, and learns to move with it when Pellegrino pushes and pulls him into positions. He brushes it off when Pellegrino calls him a whore and says the words he knows Pellegrino wants to hear about how much Jensen enjoys being with him with a bland smile. He becomes good at zoning out without it being too obvious, to put in just enough effort to please the guy, to beg and cry like he's expected to. Pellegrino seems happy enough with the show Jensen puts on. 

"You were made for this, huh? To take me," Pellegrino likes to say as he fucks Jensen. Jensen fakes a few encouraging moans, while thinking about all the much bigger, better guys he really prefers to take. Instead he lets rough hands manhandle him, tug and pull, as Pellegrino thrusts into him relentlessly. It's almost the same thing every time, same words and same moves.

Sometimes, Pellegrino switches things up, decides he's in the mood to tie Jensen up or rain slaps down on his ass, but luckily those times are few and far between. 

Either way, when Jensen goes home, he always takes an extra long, hot shower, scrubs himself until his skin is pink and smells of his favorite body wash.

Luckily, he's the worst of Jensen's regular clients. 

Two of the other guys that Jensen sees regularly are married men. Stephen is a semi-famous sportscaster. He has a wife and kids, and he always takes off his wedding ring when he's with Jensen. There's a desperation to the sex with him, in the way he kisses Jensen. Justin Hartley is young and rich and being groomed for a political career, with a pretty wife and a family that is well-known in all the right circles, and he never wants more than for Jensen to suck him off. As if that makes him not gay. As if not fucking Jensen makes it not cheating. Jensen feels bad for both of them, yet isn't particularly proud of having part on them cheating. It's his job and he tries not to judge, but he can't help think about how fucked up it is that guys come to him because they have to pretend to be straight otherwise. He's been there, did it for a few years in high school to please his family, his friends — he dated the prettiest girls, pretending to be just like everyone else while it ate him up inside that he wasn't. It wasn't until he got away, until he started college and slowly started coming out that he realized how much all of it had been wearing him down, how unhappy he'd been with himself and his life.

He sees himself in some of the guys he's with. Sees the belief he, too, used to have that being straight is the only way to live while not being able to help himself at the same time, to want and crave something different, something he thought he couldn't have without his life being ruined. But no matter what he lost, life wasn't ruined. Altered. But Jensen isn't going to let anyone ruin his life anymore, and he hopes, one day, guys like Stephen and Justin will realize that as well and that they won't hurt too many people in the process, themselves included.

And until then, Jensen will give them this. A few hours of reprieve. 

There are other clients that are easier. Guys he only sees once or twice and never really knows more about than their names and what they like in bed, and he's just fine with that. It makes things easier, in a way.

And then there are other guys. Like Jeff, who books a night with him when he's in town. He always books him for the whole night and they talk as much as they have sex. With him, Jensen can almost pretend he's not just there with him because it's his job. That Jeff doesn't want him because he pays for him. And sometimes, Jensen lets himself wonder what it would be like, if things really were different between them — the spark between them isn't quite there, but Jensen thinks it would still be nice, being with someone like Jeff.

He knows it'll never happen, though. Knows at the end of the day he's still just a rentboy and they're guys who hold more power and influence than he can imagine.

The holiday seasons comes and goes. Jensen uses the days off to work a little more — apparently Christmas isn't bad for the business at all — and a lot of the clients give him a big bonus, envelopes with money and a few well-meant gifts passed to him before he leaves.

He buys himself a leather jacket, as a present to himself, and otherwise tries to ignore the fact that it's Christmas altogether.

"Are you ever going to tell me what's up?" Danneel asks.

They're holed up in their favorite coffee house, books and notes spread out on the table, studying for the finals of one of their shared classes. The place is filled with other students doing the same thing, groups sitting around with notes cluttering the table, while others are studying on their own, noses buried in books while they scribble furiously into their notebooks. 

Jensen glances up at her and finds her looking at him, stare curious and unwavering. "Nothing. What are you talking about?" he asks, but he knows Danneel isn't fooled by his casual tone. He met her the day he moved into the dorms, when their R.A. had them all gather together in the afternoon, and she's pretty much been his best friend ever since. She's the first person he told he was gay and the first he called after coming out to his family. Danneel can read him like a book and until today he never minded, because there was never anything he didn't tell her anyway.

Danneel gives a small huff. "I'm not stupid, you know," she says and picks up her coffee, taking a careful sip. Jensen waits.

"I dropped by the restaurant the other day," she continues and gives him a pointed look. "They told me you quit weeks ago."

The words stop Jensen short. It feels like a bucket of ice has been poured over him. "Danni," he says, voice breaking just a little.

"Hey," Danneel says, more softly now. "It was a crappy job, so good on you. But... Jensen, you barely had any money _with_ the job and now you seem to be doing a lot better. And you haven't even told me you quit, so you get why I'm maybe a bit worried, right?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. So, this is the time to reassure me you aren't doing anything stupid."

Jensen isn't sure what to say to that. He glances around, but nobody is paying attention to them. Their table is far in the back, tucked away into a little corner, so the hustle and bustle of the place is familiar, soothing background noise, rather than a distraction. 

"Jensen, just _talk_ to me," Danneel presses. 

Nervously, Jensen meets her eyes. He wants to tell her. Mostly, he wants to _not_ lie to her, to not be keeping things from her. "I got this new job," he admits quietly. "The pay’s a lot better."

"And what kind of job is that?" Danneel asks. Jensen can hear the suspicion in her voice. "Please tell me it has nothing to do with drugs."

"What?" Jensen asks, startled.

Danneel shrugs. "Well, what did you think I was gonna think?" she asks, a little accusingly. 

Jensen sighs. "It's not... _that_. I needed money, Danni," he says and picks up his teaspoon, spinning it around between nervous fingers. "I wasn't making enough to support myself, let alone pay tuition next semester. I would have had to drop out."

"Oh Jensen," Danneel murmurs.

"It's okay now. I found this job. It's… uh, an escort service."

"Oh," Danneel says, looking surprised. "An escort?"

"Yeah."

Danneel studies him for a moment, her eyes fixed firmly on him, and Jensen looks away after a few moments, his stomach churning with nerves.

"Just an escort?" Danneel asks, and Jensen already knows she wouldn't believe him if he said yes. She knows him too well, is too damn perceptive.

" _Danni_ ," he pleads, his eyes suddenly filling with tears. The thought of losing her over this — losing her, period — makes his heart clench in fear. 

Danneel is silent for a moment, then she places her hands on the table and leans forward. "Hey," she says softly. "I just want you to be honest with me. I'm not judging." 

"You're not?" Jensen asks. It comes out sounding a little bitter, because how can she not? Jensen might be okay with what he does, but he knows it's not the kind of thing others are okay with. They're raised to believe it's bad and wrong and sick, regardless of the fact that for some people it's the only solution to their problems. 

"Well... I just want you to be safe," Danneel says. "And I'm not sure you are. I mean... fuck, I don't know what I mean."

The words make Jensen relax a little. Danneel isn't turning him away, she still cares.

"I _am_ safe, Danni. I work for an agency and they have rules in place to keep me safe and they vet all clients," he promises her and after another quick glance around, he continues, "I'm not standing around some street corner, letting seedy guys pick me up for a couple of bucks. It's just... rich men who are looking for someone discreet." 

"But you _are_ sleeping with them?" 

"Yeah," Jensen says, with a shaky nod. 

"Wow... okay. Wow." Danneel exhales loudly, her eyes wide.

"Are you freaking out?" Jensen asks, the knots in his stomach not quite unraveling just yet. He holds his breath, waiting for her answer. 

"A little?" Danneel says tentatively. "But can you blame me? I mean, this is kinda huge."

"It's not what you think. It's probably safer than hooking up with random college guys — god knows where those have been and if they've ever been tested. The men I'm with, they're all clean and we have fun and then we both go home," Jensen tries to explain. And maybe that's embellishing facts a little, because it isn't always fun.

"That sounds a bit too good to be true," Danneel says with a wry snort. 

Jensen sighs. "Well, okay. Would I go home with all of them if I met them in some bar? No. But some of them, _totally_. And I'm making a whole lot of money for having sex, which I'd be having anyway." 

"Promise you're safe? You're using protection and nobody is hurting you?" Danneel asks gently, leaning even further over the table and peering at him.

"Absolutely," Jensen reassures her and nods.

"And those men?" She sounds more curious now. Not mollified, not happy, but not put off either.

Jensen grins. "Dude, they're like... the richest of riches. It's totally insane. You should see the hotel rooms these guys book," he says. "I can't even tell you how often I've been treated to champagne and stuff." 

It's embellishing things a little, but Jensen figures it's okay. It's not a lie. Jeff has ordered champagne for them a couple of times, and other clients have ordered in huge, fancy breakfasts the morning after. It's usually the ones that like to pretend Jensen isn't a rentboy, that like to build up this fantasy where Jensen is with them because he wants to be. Tom told him he has one client who keeps giving him lavish presents every time they meet up and never calls sex between them anything but _making love_.

"Never get attached to your clients. But when they get attached? You hit the jackpot, man," he told Jensen, almost echoing Briana's words verbatim. 

Danneel's lips quirk up. "Yeah?" 

"Yup. You're talking to one of the most expensive rentboys in the city, darling. This ass isn't cheap," Jensen jokes and Danneel laughs. 

"As long as you're safe." 

"Always," he promises. "And, you know, I have food on the table and can stay in college and I don't have to worry all the damn time. It's _nice_."

The seriousness of the words seems to register with Danneel, and after a moment she nods. "Okay. Just... we need some kind of system, Jensen. I need to know when you're... working and you need to check in with me when you come home. Sent a text, call, I don't care," she says. "And maybe some kind of signal you can send me if you ever need help. A blank message or something."

"I already do that stuff with the agency."

Danneel gives him a pointed look. "Yeah, right, you want me to trust some random people from your job with you?" she says. "Fuck that."

Jensen smiles at her. "Fine, okay," he says, feeling genuinely touched. "We'll work out a system."

"Good," Danneel says, nodding.

Jensen rolls over and stretches, the cool, silky sheets feeling good against his overheated skin.

"That was amazing as always, baby," Jeff murmurs, sounding breathless, and kisses his cheek. 

Jensen turns his head and meets Jeff's mouth for a slow kiss. He knows Jeff likes this — the intimacy, the slow touches and kisses and post-coital bliss. 

"Right back at you," he says when they part, grinning. Jeff runs a hand down Jensen's stomach, all slow and lazy, stirring a new wave of arousal in Jensen. Jeff is one of his most vanilla clients — never asks for toys or gimmicks or anything other than plain old fucking — but he's still one of the best and Jensen has never not enjoyed a night he's spent with him. 

"It's a shame I'm only in town once a month or so," Jeff says, leaning down to lay kisses down Jensen's neck to his collarbone. 

"Yeah?" Jensen asks. 

"Pretty sure you'd be the end of me, baby, but what a way to go that'd be." 

Jensen laughs and wraps his arms around Jeff's neck, pulling him into a deep kiss. When they break apart, Jeff's half-hard cock pressing against Jensen's hip, face flushed from before or maybe _again_. 

He reaches over for the nightstand and grabs the pack of cigarettes he always keeps on there. He lights one and takes a deep drag before passing it on to Jensen. They share it, quietly, coming down from their high until their breathing is back to normal. Jeff stretches then, languidly, and lights a second cigarette. 

"So, how's college?" he asks casually.

Jensen laughs and steals the cigarette from Jeff, taking a deep pull before handing it back. "'s good." 

"Yeah? I tried to book a night with you a few weeks ago, but Sam told me you were busy with finals." 

Jensen rolls onto his side and props his head up on his hand, elbow digging into the heap of pillows. "I didn't know you were in town," he says. 

"Last minute trip," Jeff says, puffing out a ring of smoke and grins. "The agency sent me some other guy. Trent? Trevor?" 

"Hmm, how was that?" Jensen asks, waiting for Jeff to pass the cigarette back to him. He doesn't usually smoke much, only at parties, but he likes doing this with Jeff. Like their own little post-sex tradition.

"Well, he wasn't nearly as pretty as you, nor as good." 

Jensen smirks and bats his eyelashes at Jeff. "That's because I'm the prettiest _and_ the best."

"Nah, you just know how to wrap men around your little finger, sweetheart." 

"Who me?" Jensen asks innocently and getting impatient, snags the cigarette from Jeff's lax fingers. Jeff laughs. 

"Your innocent act doesn't work on me. Now, tell me about your finals." 

Jensen puts the cigarette out in the coffee mug on the nightstand, listening to the soft sizzle, and then turns over onto his stomach, arranging himself in a way that he knows will draw Jeff's attention to his ass sooner or later and grins. With anyone else, he wouldn't be inclined to share personal information, but he knows Jeff actually cares, actually wants to know. "I did pretty well," he says.

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

Jeff's eyes travel down his body, stopping at his ass, and he lets his hand follow the same path. "Well, I guess you deserve a reward then, huh?" he asks, big palm squeezing Jensen's left cheek.

Unlike at the beginning of last semester, Jensen doesn't have to worry about the cost of books for his new classes this time. He can buy new copies, stocks up on notebooks and pens, and when he walks into his classes, it's not with a feeling of dread like last semester, but with the certainty that it's going to be alright. He's making this work, all on his own.

In February, Briana sends him on a 'date' with an out-of-state Senator.

"Closet case," she tells him unnecessarily when she calls Jensen into her office. She only handles these meetings herself when it's a big client or someone particularly well-known; otherwise she just calls them when they get a client they've never worked with before and has someone else pass the details on to them later. "He's booked someone with us a couple of times. I don't have to tell you how utterly important it is that you don't breathe a word of this to anyone."

"Of course," Jensen says.

Briana nods and slides over a sheet of paper to him, the one that she makes every client fill out. It specifies what they're looking for, their likes and dislikes. It helps her match up clients with the right guy or girl, and for Jensen it works as a guideline on what to do, how to act. 

"He's booked someone with us a couple of times before; kinda skittish and he's probably not gonna want more than a quick fuck, and then get you out of there as soon as possible. Should be easy."

Jensen nods and reads the notes on the piece of paper carefully. He's not allowed to take it with him, but luckily he's good at memorizing things. 

Skittish doesn't even begin to describe the guy. He tells Jensen he's not gay before Jensen is even fully in the room on the night of their appointment, and he looks nervous and a little pale. 

"Okay," Jensen says as casually as he can and tries to look as nonthreatening as he can. He ends up blowing the guy on the couch in the living area of the hotel room, and the guy groans and moans as if he's starving for it, sloppily pumping his dick into Jensen's mouth and mumbling about how pretty he is, _almost like a girl_. 

When he fucks Jensen it's from behind and Jensen glances back once to find him with his eyes fixed on Jensen's ass, face flushed and mouth set in a tense line. It's the look of someone who isn't quite enjoying himself, who is disgusted by himself even though he can't help doing this, coming back for more.

"How was the senator?" Briana asks when Jensen comes for one of his bi-monthly meetings with her.

Jensen settles into the chair across from her desk, a plush comfy one, and shrugs. "Fine. Like you said, closet case but pretty easy. Nothing exciting," he says.

"Good. Good," she says. "Anythings else you need to talk about? Any problems with your clients?"

It's a lot more rushed than these meetings usually are. Briana isn't one to beat around the bush, but she likes to make sure everything is on track. Surprised, Jensen blinks.

"No. Everything's been fine."

"That's great," Briana says and smiles brightly at him. Her lips are painted deep red today. "Well, in that case, there's something I need to talk to you about."

"Okay. Something bad?" Jensen asks, feeling momentarily worried.

Briana's smile gets wider, if possible. "Not at all. In fact, since you were just saying how the night with the senator wasn't that exciting, I have someone who just might be for you. A new client. And I mean _entirely new_."

The way she says it, Jensen can tell it's something big. Someone big. Jensen has some clients that are considered high-profile, like the senator the other night and even Justin Hartley. But they've been with other guys from the agency before. All the first-timers Jensen has been with have been pretty normal guys. Rich enough to use the agency's service, but not outrageously so and certainly not names that the average American would recognize.

Wordlessly, Briana slides a thin file across the desk to Jensen. Jensen is too curious to act casual, grabbing it and flipping it open. The name printed on top sounds familiar. "Jared Padalecki," he reads out and meets Briana's gaze.

She nods, a little giddy almost. "Padalecki Oil. Figured you'd be familiar with the name, being Texan and all," she says and Jensen's eyebrows shoot up, the name finally ringing a bell. The Padalecki family is very well known, not just in Texas, but especially there. They have properties all over. Jensen has never been really interested in famous people, but he's pretty sure he's seen the name pop up in a gossip magazine or two that his mom always had lying around. From what Jensen gathered, there is being rich and being filthily rich and then there's being a Padalecki.

"Seriously? _That_ Padalecki?" he asks.

"His grandson," Briana says. "He lives out here in California, runs a Tech company. An _extremely_ successful one. He co-owns a couple of restaurants with a friend, too, and he's the co-owner of a hotel in Vegas." 

"Not bad," Jensen says, trying to downplay it. "What's the deal with him?" 

"He's busy and rich and looking for some fun; he's expressed interest in this being a regular deal," Briana says. "Background check didn't turn up anything out of the ordinary. Guy seems like a bit of a hardass, but not worryingly so." 

"Okay," Jensen says and skims the second sheet again to see what the guy is into — there's some kinky stuff on there, but not _too_ kinky. He's had clients ask for more hardcore stuff than a little light bondage and roleplay, or some harmless toys. It's all stuff Jensen can do, a lot of it even things he knows he will enjoy depending on the guy.

"Okay. So I'm in the running?" he asks. Normal clients usually just get assigned someone by Briana based on the information they provide, but with high profile clients, Briana picks a few guys or girls she thinks will fit and lets the client choose. In some special cases, if the client is important enough like Padalecki seems to be, she even lets them meet the guys and girls beforehand if they want to. Jensen has never had to come in for a meeting like that, and he's kind of glad for it. There's something about having to parade in front of a client like that and then possibly have him reject him that doesn't sit quite well with him.

"Not necessary. He looked at all the profiles that fit his expectations and he wants you," Briana says. "I'll be quite honest, I would have felt a bit more comfortable sending in someone with a bit more experience for a client of this caliber, but Mr. Padalecki was adamant that he wanted you." 

Jensen isn't going to deny that that's flattering; he knows what kind of guys and girls are working for Briana and while Jensen has no illusions about the fact that he is hot, so are the others working here. If Padalecki is going to be a regular client, then this could be a pretty big deal for him. 

Of course, that means Jensen could also fuck this up spectacularly and get into a lot of trouble.


	2. Chapter 2

Jensen is always a bit nervous about meeting new clients, especially if they've never booked anyone with the agency before. Jared might sound okay on paper and he trusts Briana's judgment, but he isn't naïve either and he knows there's always a slight chance something could go wrong. A few sentences here and there about someone's sexual preference and a list of boxes clients can tick don't really say much of anything about what kind of person the guy is.

And Jensen also wants to make a good first impression, wants to please the guy. Briana is a good boss, but she expects her employees to perform well, to keep the clients happy. So far, nobody has ever complained about Jensen as far as he knows and he wants to keep it that way. And he has a feeling he's never had a client like Padalecki before. The richer the guy, the more demanding they often seem to be, and if that's true, then Jensen has to prepare himself for a night of absolutely no control.

For his first date with Padalecki, Jensen picks his outfit carefully. He makes sure he looks nice without going over the top. A nice, tight pair of jeans and a light gray t-shirt that fits snugly, but not too tight, with his new leather jacket on top. He forgoes any kind of jewelry — it usually just gets in the way during sex — and styles his hair without putting too much product in it. It usually just ends up getting messed up anyway.

The hotel is one of the nicest ones in town; Jensen has been there once before in the last few months and the opulence made him feel more than a little inadequate. Judging by the looks he gets, everyone else seems to feel the same way, but Jensen tells himself not to care. He's here to do a job and what others think of him shouldn't matter.

In front of Jared's door, he takes a deep breath, tries to look calm and composed before he knocks.

He's not sure what to expect. He's stopped trying to picture the guys Briana sets him up with before he meets them for the first time, because he's never right anyway. What he's learned is that, given that Briana's clients are the rich and successful, they're generally very put-together, perfect from head to toe regardless of their looks. 

Jared Padalecki is something else though, pulling the door open with a cool smile. 

He's tall enough that even Jensen has to look up, tipping his head back a little in surprise, and there's no denying that the man in front of him is incredibly hot. His features are a bit unusual. There are plenty of hot guys in Los Angeles, but they all seem to look the same. Padalecki is different, from the slanted eyes to the slope of his noise and the hair that's maybe a bit too long for someone like him. But all of it just makes him more striking, and there's something about him, an aura, that has heat pooling in Jensen's belly instantly. 

Padalecki is wearing a dark gray suit that fits perfectly, showing off long legs and broad shoulders, and costing no doubt more than all of Jensen's wardrobe combined.

"You must be Jensen," he says and when Jensen nods, he steps aside, ushering him in. 

"Good to meet you, Mr. Padalecki," Jensen says politely, sticking with the last name until he's told otherwise. Most guys prefer to be called by their first name, but Briana drilled it into him never to assume. Padalecki's lips quirk up, looking amused yet eerily unaffected at the same time. 

"Jared's fine," he says. "Can I offer you a drink?"

He gestures at the bar in the far corner of the room, and Jensen quickly shakes his head. "I'm good. Thank you," he replies. 

There are only very few clients he's ever had a drink with, guys he's been with a few times and trusts enough. They're not allowed to get drunk on the job either way, though a drink or two is fine; sometimes it's more polite to have a drink than declining an offer.

"Suit yourself," Jared says, not unkindly, and shrugs. Jensen watches him saunter a few steps over to a couch and pick up a tumbler with a finger of amber liquid from the coffee table. He takes a sip before simply holding the glass in his hand, eyes roaming over Jensen freely. Jensen stands still, waiting for a reaction, to find out if he's what Padalecki was hoping for, but Jared's expression remains unchanged, unreadable. He takes a couple of small sips, before setting the glass back down and strolling closer. The way he moves is oddly fascinating, so self-assured, all power and grace and carelessness rolled up in one. 

He stops on front of Jensen, close enough that Jensen feels the heat from his body, and takes Jensen's chin between his fingers, brushing the pad of his thumb just below Jensen's mouth.

"You're quite gorgeous," he says, in a way that sounds more like he's stating a matter of fact than complimenting Jensen.

"Thank you," Jensen says and Jared's lips quirk up.

"Anything we need to talk about before I fuck you, sweetheart?" he asks, voice a low murmur. The timbre of it, the way the term of endearment rolls of his tongue, has Jensen's blood rushing south.

He's had more than one client that he'd consider hot, but he can't remember ever wanting to roll over and beg for it as much as he wants to in this moment. He wants to find out if Jared is as good as Jensen thinks he is, all raw strength and precise control. He wants this guy to take whatever he wants from him, wreck him until Jensen is an incoherent mess of pleasure. Because there's something about Jared that screams that he can do just that.

"Nothing Miss Buckmaster shouldn't have already told you," he says, knowing Briana is a stickler for rules, and he doesn't have to wait long. The words are barely uttered before Jared makes a soft, humming sound and pulls him into a kiss. 

It's not slow or careful, not hesitant like some first kisses are — even with guys who are paying him for sex. Jared goes all in, kisses him deep and dirty, licking into his mouth and drawing him against him with an arm around his waist and his other hand resting on the back of Jensen's neck. Jensen is startled by the intensity of the kiss for all of two seconds before he returns it. The taste of whiskey is still sharp on Jared's lips, and Jensen moans into his mouth in appreciation, standing up on his tip-toes to fully meet Jared. It's the first time in his life he's had to do that and it sends a thrill through him. His body is pressed flushed against Jared's, held tightly against his by Jared's strong arms, and Jensen's cock already growing hard in his jeans. He can't believe this is what he gets paid for.

He mentally repeats that thought later, when Jared has him pressed down into the mattress, hands pinned above his head. If he thought Jared was hot before, naked, the man is a vision, all smooth, tan skin and muscles that flex beautifully under his skin as he slams into Jensen. Despite having prepped himself before coming here, and Jared fingering him open with slick fingers — something he apparently enjoyed doing –, he feels the stretch, the burn when Jared presses into him for the first time. He doesn't stop until he's all the way in, one smooth, slow thrust that seems like an eternity yet over way too soon to Jensen. He only gives Jensen a few moments before he pulls out and thrusts back in all the way.

It's amazing and Jensen isn't sure if Jared can tell how much he loves it or if he doesn't care, because there's nothing gentle or hesitant about the way he fucks Jensen, drawing right back out and pushes back in, deep and hard. He fucks Jensen face to face, kissing him hungrily as he thrusts into him, eating the moans and cries right out of Jensen's mouth. And god, Jensen _is_ moaning and crying out. Not a single noise he makes is faked or exaggerated, the pleasure shooting through him as Jared works him over startling and real. 

There are a few murmured words, "so tight" and "fuck, you're pretty" spoken damply against Jensen's lips, his cheek and that just makes it better, makes Jensen want to preen. Usually, Jensen tries to figure out what the guy is into, tries to stay in control of himself even while pretending to be totally lost in the moment, but with Jared he can't. 

Jensen comes first, body arched and fingers digging into Jared's back as he cries out. Jared fucks him through it, bites at his jaw and then soothes the sting with his tongue, Jensen trembling and dazed from his orgasm, holding on as Jared keeps moving. When Jared comes, too, it's with a soft grunt, buried deep in Jensen.

Later, Jensen sucks Jared off in the shower, Jared's long fingers twisting and curling in his wet strands of hair, tugging at them as he thrusts his cock into Jensen's mouth with lazy rolls of his hips. Jared is big enough that even Jensen has to get used to it, almost choking on it the first time he deep-throats him, before he adjusts, finds his rhythm. Afterward, standing under the spray together, Jared takes his face between his hands, kisses him deeply, before pulling away. His eyes are fixed on Jensen's mouth and his thumb drags over Jensen's lower lip, pulling the flesh to the side.

"Fuck," he murmurs, and Jensen hopes that's a good thing. He's not a religious guy, but he's pretty sure he'd be willing to pray that Jared wants to see him again, that he gets to do this again, because no guy has ever made him feel so good, so sated.

They finish their shower and Jensen barely has time to dry off before Jared crowds against him again, hands sliding over naked, damp skin. His hands are as big as the rest of him, palms large and fingers long, graceful. He skates them over Jensen's sides, around his hips, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps. And then he grasps Jensen by the back of his thighs, just under the swell of his butt and picks him up, as if he weighs nothing, and carries him back to bed. 

Jensen's towel drops to the ground half-way there and he barely notices, too busy kissing Jared, fingers twisted in long, damp hair, his body already feeling as if it's on fire again.

Spread out on the rumpled sheets, Jensen grins at Jared kneeling above him.

"We just got clean," he teases and Jared's smirk is just this side of predatory.

"Well, sweetheart, I prefer you dirty," he drawls and slides down Jensen's body, kissing and biting a path down Jensen's chest. He stops at Jensen's nipples, teases them with his tongue until they're both hard and Jensen is moaning. Only that does he move on, going lower. 

By the next morning, when Jensen leaves, sore and satisfied, he thinks maybe he should be the one paying Jared. He gets the impression it wasn't even a tiny bit selflessness on Jared's part, though. He got off just as hard, took what he wanted from Jensen without hesitation, but he seemed to enjoy, more than anything, having Jensen writhe and whimper, incoherent and lost in pleasure.

"Jensen," Briana says when Jensen picks up the phone. It's early and he's still in bed, face buried deep in the pillows.

"Hi," he mumbles.

"I just called to tell you to keep doing whatever it is you did," Briana says, sounding _jubilant_.

"Wha'?" Jensen mumbles. He shifts, pulling the sheets higher around his body, his mind still foggy with sleep.

"Padalecki wants to see you again. He's set up weekly dates for almost the next two months," Briana says. _Gloats_. "Having to rearrange your schedule will be _hell_ , of course, but he's even willing to pay extra."

By the tone of her voice, Jensen can only guess she isn't talking about a couple hundred dollars extra, either. "You mean you're going to bump some of my other clients?" he asks.

Briana laughs. "Oh honey, I'd bump all of them if Padalecki asked me to," she says. "Unless you have any concerns about him, I'm gonna make whatever he demands happen." 

"No concerns," Jensen says, and Briana snorts. 

"I figured. He sounded quite pleased with you." 

"You know me, anything for my clients," Jensen says sweetly, and pretends he isn't excited by the prospect of seeing Jared regularly. He might not be the sweetest guy Jensen has ever met, but when a man can fuck the way Jared Padalecki can, sweetness is the last thing on Jensen's mind anyway.

Jensen maybe kind of hopes Briana will assign someone else to Pellegrino because of Jared's weekly arrangement with him, but instead Jensen loses Hartley and a couple of other semi-regular clients.

Going to meet with Pellegrino is hard when he knows there are guys like Jared or even Jeff out there. Guys who make him feel good, or at the very least don't make him feel bad. 

Jensen doesn't complain, though, not out loud, because he knows everyone has clients they don't love. It comes with the territory. 

And yet, he wishes Pellegrino wasn't one of his.

The second time Jensen meets up with Jared, he almost expects it to be less amazing. Like maybe the first night was a fluke or he blew things up in his head, made it out to be more amazing that it actually was.

But the second night together is just as good. 

Jared pushes Jensen against the glass doors leading out to the balcony, the coolness of it making Jensen shudder before his body heat slowly warms the glass. The bulk of Jared's body keeps him pressed against it as Jared pushes into him, fucks him with slow, sure rolls of his hips.

"Maybe next time I'll book a room on a lower floor, so that everyone can see you. Can see _me_ fucking you," he murmurs into Jensen's ear, sliding in deeply, again and again. "Would you like that?"

Jensen tosses his head back and moans, fingers grappling at the arms Jared has planted on either side of him, caging him in.

"You would, wouldn't you?" Jared continues in a low rasp. "Would like it if anyone could catch a glimpse of you, hanging off my cock like this, taking me so beautifully."

"Jared," Jensen cries out, each thrust forcing him up onto his tip-toes now, his skin sliding slickly against the glass. Jared just laughs into his ear, a bit darkly, and nips at Jensen's earlobe.

"You're gonna come like this. Without touching yourself, or me touching you. Just like this, sweetheart," he says and Jensen isn't surprised when, a couple of minutes later, he does, his come shooting onto the glass, getting smeared everywhere from the press of his body against it.

They meet up at the same hotel twice more, Jared seemingly not caring much what it might make people think. All of Jensen's other regulars seem to prefer using different hotels, in an attempt to minimize the possibility of people starting to talk about them, someone putting things together and figured out what Jensen is there for.

But not Jared. He doesn't make Jensen hide or get dressed when room service is delivered, kisses Jensen in the open doorway of his room for anyone to see. Jensen half expects him to suggest that they go fuck in the pool for the entire world to see one day.

But then, five weeks in, Katie, Briana's assistant, sends him a text with a different address. Jensen looks it up, and is surprised to find it's not a hotel, but a private property on the outskirts of the city. He assumes it must be Jared's place.

He can get a car from work for occasions like this, where a place isn't reached easily by public transport, and Jensen feels an odd sense of nerves the whole way there that he hasn't felt since the first night with Jared.

Jared's house is beautiful. Secluded and surrounded by trees, shielding it from view completely. The building itself is big, but not obscenely though, and Jared greets him with a casual smile, acting as if this isn't different, isn't unusual.

"Seemed a bit more convenient," he says when Jensen brings up the new location, and that seems to be that.

That night, Jared ties him to the bedframe of his big four poster bed with two of his, no doubt expensive, silk ties and fucks Jensen before getting him off for a second time with a thick, black vibrator. He jerks himself off, spilling all over Jensen's belly, before he finally unties him and by the time Jensen makes it home the next morning, he's pretty sure he's walking more bow-legged than before.

The next time they see each other, Jared rolls Jensen onto his stomach and fucks him slowly. It's not sweet and gentle, more lazy than anything, Jared's teeth grazing Jensen's neck, breathing harsh and he buries himself deep with slow rolls of his hips. Jensen likes to figure out patterns, work out what his client is into and give it to them, but with Jared there isn't a pattern. One day he'll be in the mood for something kinky, pulling out the chest of toys he keeps in the closet, other days he's happy with straight-forward, simple sex. There are days he likes to take his time, other days Jensen barely makes it through the door before he's pressed against a wall and his pants are down around his ankles. It's part of what makes Jared so exciting, the fact that he's utterly unpredictable, yet the sex is never short of amazing.

"Too tight?" Jared asks.

He slips two fingers under the collar Jensen is wearing and gives it a small tug. Enough to make Jensen feel it, make him acutely aware of the leather strapped around his neck, without really cutting off his airflow.

He shakes his head.

Jared smiles at him and brushes a kiss against Jensen's temple. "You should see yourself," he murmurs. "See how fucking beautiful you look, spread out for me. _At my mercy_. I think I like you there, sweetheart."

Jensen swallows thickly, a broken moan falling from his lips. He _is_ at Jared's mercy, thick leather wristbands with silver hoops attaching him to the bed frame, Jared's bulk hovering over him.

It makes him wonder what it is about Jared that makes this so damn different. Worries him that there's not even a tiny part of him that has any reservations about this, any concerns. He'd do it anyway, if there was, because it's his job, but with everyone else anything like this would put him a little on edge, make him pay close attention to every little detail that could set off warning bells. Not with Jared, though.

With Jared, everything is too intense, too good. And it's like everything Jensen never knew was a thing for him before suddenly is. Like this. The moment Jared put the collar around his neck and fastened the clasp, brushing his fingers over the skin just underneath it, Jensen's whole world fell away and narrowed down to this. To being so completely out of control, having to put his trust in Jared.

And the weirdest part is that he does trust Jared.

"Don't think I've ever seen anything as hot as you," Jared whispers and tugs a little harder at the collar. Then his fingers slip out from under it, falling away, and he crashes his lips to Jensen's.

Jensen arches up into it as much as he can, pinned by Jared and the cuffs.

He can feel Jared's hard cock pressing against him, big and thick, and in that moment he wants nothing more than to beg for it.

"What should I do with you now, huh?" Jared asks. He pulls back a little, grinning down at Jensen. "What do you want? My fingers, my mouth, my cock? Or maybe something else, one of my toys, huh?"

"Jared," Jensen bites out. Jared's grin only gets wider.

For a split moment he thinks of all the other men he's been with over the past few months, what it'd feel like if it was one of them right now, what it _has_ felt like with them. It makes him feel more desperate, more needy, because he doesn't want to think about any of them. Wants it to be nobody but Jared right now.

 _Don't get attached_ , a voice in his head says. Briana's or Tom's, or maybe his own

He tugs at the restraints, leather biting into his skin.

"You look tired," Danneel notes, taking one look at him, her eyebrows drawn together.

"Mid-terms," Jensen notes and waves his hand around the crowded student café they're once again in. Unlike most of the other students there, they're not studying though, but taking a break and loading up on caffeine.

Danneel's eyes narrow as she looks at him.

"Just that?" she asks. 

"Hmm, why?"

"You've been working a lot," Danneel says, all pointed. Jensen shrugs. It's true. Despite mid-terms, he hasn't asked for the weekends off this time and he did have a few extra jobs over the last few weeks, too.

"One of the other guys quit and Briana had to fire another one. We're a little short-staffed," he explains. Danneel snorts.

"You know, the way you talk about it always makes it sound so... normal," she says, voice lowered. 

"'s kinda normal to me," Jensen admits and twists the coffee mug around in his hands. "Unless I think about it too hard."

"Hmm, well anyway, you look like you haven't slept in forever."

"I'm fine. Just need a good night's sleep," Jensen says, brushing her concerns off. He _is_ really tired, but Briana had all but begged him to work his usual days despite mid-terms, and Jensen had to sacrifice some sleep to get all his studying done. It didn't help that he had spent a night with Pellegrino this week and the guy had been in a pissy mood, complaining about the fact that it was, apparently, harder to schedule a night with Jensen lately. It's not his fault — Jared taking up one night a week made his schedule a lot less flexible than it was before — but Pellegrino seemed to think so. Jensen had been tempted to tell the guy to shove it and find someone else then, but he'd wisely kept his mouth shut.  
Pellegrino had taken it out on his ass anyway, spanking him until Jensen's cheeks stung and he knew they're deep red.

"You like that, huh, whore? Like getting your ass spanked?" Pellegrino asked. 

"Yeah. _Yeah_ ," Jensen said, but he wanted to tell him to fuck off. With another guy, someone who did this to bring him pleasure and not pain, he actually might've like it. _Jared_ could probably make it good for him, he thought, and the thought of Jared was oddly calming.

Pellegrino fucked him harshly afterwards, and if Jensen pictured Jared moving behind him instead of Pellegrino then nobody needed to know.

By the time he got home, Jensen was feeling a little uncomfortable - it was nothing he couldn't handle - but he'd been happy knowing that he'd not have to see Pellegrino again for a few weeks.

"Tonight?" Danneel's word rips him out of his thoughts. 

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to stay in and get some rest tonight?"

"Can't," Jensen says. He takes a sip of his coffee, mostly to have something to do and not have to elaborate.

"Jensen."

"I have to work, Danni," he says. It's true. It's Friday and Friday nights have become Jared's nights, and Jensen has never had to cancel on them before. He doesn't want to. "But I got my last final this afternoon and then things will get easier."

Danneel sighs and nods, but doesn't look quite pleased. Jensen gives her his best reassuring smile and then gets up to order another coffee, knowing he's going to need it tonight.

"I don't think you could ever look anything but incredibly pretty, sweetheart, but you do look a little worse for wear," Jared says when he sees him that night.

Jensen gives him a small smile and lets himself be lead into Jared's living-room.

"Mid-terms," he says. Jared looks at him thoughtfully, head cocked.

"You're in college." 

"Yeah," Jensen says and raises his eyebrows. "Surprised?"

Jared sits down on the couch and pulls Jensen down onto his lap, hands gripping his hips securely. "Maybe," he admits. "You never mentioned it."

Jensen shrugs. "Never came up," he says, because it's not that he minds sharing information about himself, within reason. It depends on the client, but Jeff, for example, knows quite a lot about his life. It's different with Jared. They don't talk a lot, not about their lives anyway. Most of the time, they're too busy to talk, and when they do it's usually about trivial things like sports.

Jared kisses Jensen's throat, hands settling on his ass. "So, a college boy," he murmurs into Jensen's skin.

"Yes."

"UCLA?" His hand slides up, fingers skating over the waistband of Jensen's jeans and then sliding underneath, pressing between his cheeks teasingly.

"Hmm, yes," Jensen replies and then Jared draws him into a kiss, silencing anything else Jensen could have said.

When they break the kiss, Jared cups his face and looks at him, almost thoughtfully, before giving him a small smirk. "Get naked for me, sweetheart," he murmurs. Jensen scrambles off his lap and complies, stripping off his clothes. When he's done, Jared catches him around the hips and drags him back down onto his lap, Jensen straddling him. He kisses Jensen, his mouth, his jaw, down his neck, while he palms his ass, fingers dipping between the cheeks, pressing and exploring without entering him, until he has Jensen rocking back against his touch eagerly, seeking more. The stress of the last few weeks, the lack of sleep and endless studying, are finally forgotten and Jensen's world narrows down to just this.

Jared brings one hand up to Jensen's mouth, rubs the pads of his fingers over Jensen's lips. "Suck," he says. "Get them wet."

Jensen parts his lips and sucks two of Jared's fingers into his mouth with a low moan, twirling his tongue around them until they're slick with spit and he can't taste any traces of salty sweat on Jared's skin anymore.

"Good boy," Jared says and pulls his fingers free. He reaches behind Jensen, slides his fingers between his cheeks and presses both of them right into Jensen.

"Oh _fuck_ ," Jensen cries out, spreading his legs wider automatically, hands coming to rest on Jared's shoulders, gripping, holding on. Jared twists his fingers inside of him, pressing against his prostate until Jensen is gasping. The pressure ceases then and Jared works his fingers in and out, opening him up while kissing and gently biting Jensen's neck and shoulders. He's hard, Jensen can feel him, but he makes no move to undress just yet. It's only when Jensen is moaning and begging him for more, for his cock, three fingers buried deep inside of him now, that Jared pulls away.

"Let's take this upstairs," he says, and lifts Jensen off his lap. Jensen's legs feel a little shaky, and he sways before regaining his balance, feeling light-headed and too far gone, and he lets out a surprised yell when Jared lifts him, throws him over the shoulder.

"The hell," he says, and Jared laughs.

"Whatever I want, remember," he says, and the reminder stings a little before Jensen pushes those feelings aside as quickly as he can. With one arm wrapped securely around the back of his thighs and his other hand resting on Jensen's ass, Jared carries him up the stairs, ignoring Jensen's squirming.

In his bedroom, Jared drops him onto the bed. "Hands and knees," he says and his hands are already on his slacks, undoing the buttons. Jensen rolls over and pushes himself up into position.

It doesn't take long before Jared kneels behind him and Jensen listens to the familiar crinkling sound of a foil pack being ripped open, followed moments later by the snick of the lube being uncapped. And then Jared is pressing in, thick and unyielding, the slick cool as it eases the way inside Jensen's body. Jared buries himself deep, hands holding Jensen in place by the hips.

It's hard and fast, clearly meant to get them off as quickly as possible, and it really doesn't take Jensen long before he comes with a cry, working himself with one hand. Jared's grip on his hips is the only thing holding him up, his muscles shaking, and when Jared is done, Jensen sinks down onto the mattress gratefully, not caring that he ends up in the wet spot.

Jensen blinks awake. Sunlight is streaming in through the open blinds of the window front, bathing the big room in warm light.

Jared's room.

He's woken up here enough times now for it not to be strange, but then the memories of the night before rush back in and Jensen feels a wave of guilt wash over him. He shifts, and he's immediately pulled back against Jared's warm, broad chest.

"Finally joined the land of the living again?" he asks. His voice is still a little thick with sleep, so at least that lets Jensen know Jared hasn't been awake for a long time yet, waiting for him to rouse.

"I fell asleep," he says needlessly. "Shit, I'm sorry."

Jared nuzzles his neck, teeth scraping against skin before he presses a kiss to the same spot. "It's fine, I had a busy few weeks, too, so I didn't mind. And you looked like you needed it," he says, dismissive, but not harshly. 

Jensen's heart thumps a little harder and he wants to tell Jared not to do this, not to be nice and considerate, because Jensen can't do this. Can't crush on him. He's already more attracted to Jared than he should be, but it's something he can deal with. He can want Jared, can crave the incredibly good sex, but he can't want more.

"You can ask for your money back. Or a discount," he offers, trying to stay professional. "You paid for the night with me, not an hour."

"You can make it up to me next time," Jared suggests instead, fingers sliding down Jensen's chest to his belly, and Jensen can hear the smile playing around his lips. "Anything I want, how about that? I'll think of something nice for us."

It should sound like a threat, something Jensen should say no to, instead of a promise. Jensen thinks the last weeks must have truly messed with his head, because he finds himself nodding.

Spring break is just what Jensen needs. He doesn't offer to work any extra nights and Briana doesn't ask, and Jensen spends most, when he isn't working his usual nights, sleeping or binge-watching TV shows on his laptop.

He spends a night with a new guy, old enough to be his dad, who blindfolds him and then whispers in his ear what a good slut he is the entire time. Jensen is kinda glad for the blindfold, so the guy can't see him rolling his eyes.

Thursday night, he has a date with Jeff, who is back in town for a few days. It's so easy, the familiarity of it so uncomplicated, that it feels less like his job and more like he's getting a break from it. 

He rides Jeff, slow and easy, watching the pleasure play on his face as he gets them both off, Jeff's dark eyes never leaving him.

"This is my favorite part about coming here," Jeff tells him later, fingers tracing lines down Jensen's body. 

"Yeah?" Jensen asks, smiling. 

"Hmm." 

"You ever think about not doing it? Traveling, I mean," Jensen asks. "You could send someone else, right? You're the boss after all." 

"I could. Why? Wanna get rid of me, baby?" Jeff asks, grinning at him. 

"No," Jensen says with a laugh and shifts closer, grinding his dick against Jeff's hip to prove a point. "Just wondering. It must be kinda exhausting, all this back and forth." 

"It's not that bad. Used to be my favorite thing about the job, getting away and not being tied down to one place all the time," Jeff says. "But nowadays, yeah, I sometimes think about it. Someday, maybe." 

"Hmm. Yeah? Gonna settle down?" Jensen asks.

"What? Find a nice guy and all that?" 

"Why not?" 

"I don't think I'm ready for that yet," he says with a bit of a smirk, that has Jensen rolls his eyes at him. 

"You'd be good at it," he says. Jeff is possibly the sweetest person he has ever met, and if he'd be even half as nice to a boyfriend as he is to Jensen, any guy would be lucky to have him. 

Jeff smiles and kisses him, his beard scratching against Jensen's already sensitive skin. "You spend one night a month with me. You don't have to live with me, baby," he murmurs as he pulls away. 

"Yeah, well, I can't say that about many of the other guys I see, so that's something." 

Jeff rubs his thumb over Jensen's hip, studying his face with a somber expression. "Anyone giving you trouble?" 

"Nah, nothing I can't handle," Jensen says with a smile. "And I'm spending a lot of time with this new guy anyway and... shit, you probably don't want to hear about that. Forget I said anything." 

"It's fine. I don't mind." 

"Jeff," Jensen says, because really, the guy shouldn't be that nice. He shouldn't want to be okay with Jensen babbling about his life and clients, while he's paying Jensen for it. 

"I have no illusions about what this thing between us is, baby," Jeff says with a small grin. "It's okay. You can talk to me." 

Jensen pushes his bottom lip out a little. "No illusions? I must be doing something wrong," he jokes, trying to stir the subject in a different direction. 

"Nah. I'm a realist. Even if things were different, I'm way too old for you and you're way too damn pretty for someone like me." 

Jensen snorts, "Bullshit." 

"Now come on, tell Uncle Jeff all about those guys you're with," Jeff prods, grinning. Jensen makes a face.

"Gross." 

"Hey, I don't remember anything on that list of no-gos that Miss Buckmaster gave me that said calling myself your uncle wasn't okay," Jeff points out, fingers skating over Jensen's side teasingly.

Jensen laughs and sits up, pushing Jeff's insisting hands away and reaching for his discarded jeans on the floor. 

"What do you think you're doing, baby?" Jeff asks.

"Calling the agency so they put that on my list." 

Jeff laughs and pulls him back down, tugging him tightly against his chest. "Fine, I got it. I won't call myself your uncle ever again." 

Jensen grins and relaxes, kissing Jeff's neck, feeling the coarse hair there under his lips. "How about we stop talking altogether and find something else to do?" he suggests and lets his hand travel down Jeff's body, until he can wrap it around Jeff's cock, slowly stroking it back to hardness.

Jared is busy that Friday, but he has Jensen booked for Saturday instead.

A couple of hours before he usually starts getting ready, he gets a call that a package has been delivered to the dorms for him and he needs to come sign for it. 

He finds a black box when he unwraps it back upstairs in his dorm. There's a white card as well, from Briana, simply, saying, 'Padalecki dropped this off for you with instructions to have it delivered to you before your next date.'

Jensen drops the card onto his bed, heart beating a little faster as he pries the lid of the box open. Inside, nestled in black tissue paper, is a pair of red panties. Jensen pulls them out, letting the fabric slip through his fingers. They're completely made out of lace, the fabric see-through, with a small line of black trimming around the waistband. 

There's another note in the box, too, this one from Jared. 'Wear this for me tonight and we're even. I'll be thinking about you all day, sweetheart.'

"Jesus," Jensen mutters, already half hard in his jeans. His face is growing hot just thinking about wearing these for Jared. It's not nearly the most out-there thing anyone has ever asked him to do, but Jared is the first guy to ask him to wear panties and somehow it's making Jensen flustered, the idea of wearing them. The fabric is so delicate, yet there's something so raunchy about it. 

He kind of expected Jared to pick something entirely different. Something that wasn't on Jensen's list of things he was willing to do and, looking back, that's kind of stupid because he's seen Jared's list, too, and knows he isn't into anything Jensen isn't willing to do. And this? This is apparently actually a thing for Jensen, which he never knew until now, until he pulled the red panties out of the box and felt the scratchy lace on his fingers.

Jensen swallows thickly and carefully puts the panties back into the box, until it's time to put them on.

Getting ready later, Jensen is extra careful when he shaves and trims, wanting to make sure no hair is peeking out when he wears the panties. He uses the body lotion he bought not too long ago, so his skin feels all smooth and soft, and preps himself before finally putting on the panties. The fabric feels foreign against his skin, a little scratchy as he pulls them up his legs but in a good way. They're more comfortable than he thought they would be, though he can feel them as he moves around experimentally. 

When he finally dares to look at himself in the mirror, he feels another hot flush run through his body. He doesn't look bad. Different, obscene in a way that he hopes is good. Jensen runs a finger over the waistband, eyes tracking the movement in the mirror, and his cock is half-hard now, outlined perfectly by the panties. 

He's pretty damn sure he's not going to last very long, not when it's going to be Jared's fingers instead of his own there soon.

"Fuck, this is hottest thing I've ever seen. Wish I could take pictures of you," Jared mutters against his neck, biting at the skin there.

"No — no marks, Jared," Jensen reminds him, panting and squirming. 

"Fuck. _Fuck_ ," Jared hisses, hands kneading Jensen's ass. Jensen can feel the lace against his skin in the most amazing way and he arches into Jared's touch, needy and eager. 

When he got there, Jared pulled him right into the bedroom, kissing him hungrily while his hands were busy all but tearing Jensen's clothes off him. The look on his face when Jensen was finally stripped down to just the panties, the need and want there, is one Jensen doesn't think he'll ever forget. He's probably never felt more desired, more wanted, and it made him so painfully hard he thought he could come just from Jared staring at him like that.

Over the past few weeks, he's often wished he reacted differently to Jared, that he was more in control, the one seducing instead of the one that's being seduced, that falls trap to Jared's ridiculously talented hands and mouth and cock. But Jensen prides himself in being good at what he does, and, unpredictable as Jared is, this is what Jared likes — driving Jensen crazy, taking pleasure from the pleasure he gives Jensen. He gets off on this, on having Jensen lose it, and Jensen is helpless to do anything but just that.

Jared moves lower, lips and teeth traveling down exposed skin. His hands never leave the panties, as he kisses and bites his way down, skirting the edge of what he's allowed and making Jensen mutter warnings he wishes he didn't have to a few times. 

Jared doesn't exactly seem happy about not being allowed to leave marks, but he complies, nips and kisses and sucks, but always backs off before it gets too bad.

When he reaches Jensen's crotch, he nuzzles the outline of Jensen's dick, kisses the crown peeking out from under the waistband and then kisses a wet path down to Jensen's balls. His breath feels hot and damp and he licks Jensen wetly through the panties, fingers playing over Jensen's clothed hips. Jensen arches, body going taunt, and comes with a startled cry. It'd be embarrassing, if it wasn't for the fact that Jared is squeezing his hips, murmuring to him, "Yeah. Fuck, yeah, sweetheart. Look at you, so damn beautiful," and when he looks up at Jensen his eyes are dark and cheeks flushed. Jensen melts into the mattress, panting, and makes a soft noise when Jared rolls him over onto his stomach.

He has a feeling it's going to be a long night, in the best way possible.

Classes start again, and the first few days Jensen overhears more than a few conversations about spring break and all the stuff his classmates got up to, or at least claim they did, and it strikes him how weird it is. How different his life is.

He works hard to get good grades, studies a lot, but other than going to class together, Jensen has very little in common with these people. While they date and party and enjoy the last few years of not having to act quite like an adult yet, Jensen is sleeping with men for money so he can have the life everyone else here seems desperate to avoid for a few more years. 

Danneel and Matt are pretty much his only friends, the only people he hangs out with these days, and Jensen doesn't really feel like he's missing out. 

Sometimes, though, he wonders if he'd be more like his peers if his life was different, if he didn't have to worry about money and the future. He's not sure he'd be truly happier — he looks at these people, and he can't imagine being like them. He can't imagine partying the weekends away and dating stupid frat boys again and caring more about the here and now than the future.

It's not that he's really happy. Things aren't easy. But things could also be a lot worse, and at least Jensen knows what he's working for and that it'll be all worth it one day.

Of course, karma is a fucking bitch and that's when things start going downhill.

Thursday night, Jensen goes to meet a new client at a hotel downtown. He's done this enough times by now to not get too nervous about new clients, but this one is apparently someone who Jensen was recommended to by Pellegrino of all people. Jensen isn't sure if they're friends or what, but either way, the thought of another guy like Pellegrino makes him grimace when Briana tells him about him over the phone.

The client info Katie passes along to him isn't all that bad, no worse than Pellegrino's at least, and that at least makes Jensen feel a little better about it.

There certainly isn't any reason for him to ask Briana to assign someone else to this guy, other than the fact that he obviously has horrible taste in friends. So he gets ready and takes the bus downtown to meet Johansson.

Jensen always assumed some day he'd run into trouble in his job, that there'd be a guy who crosses a line, does something he explicitly told them not to do. Every time he goes to see a new client, he's cautious, prepared to have to put his foot down, walk before the night is over. 

And yet it takes him by surprise when, after a little foreplay, the guy grips him too tightly around the wrists, pushing Jensen down into the mattress and holding him in place.

"Ow. Ease up a bit, that hurts," Jensen tells him, the surprise leaving him breathless.

Johansson doesn't listen though, just tightens his grip even more. Pain shoots down Jensen's arms, fast and blinding, and he bucks up against the guy automatically, trying to throw him off. 

"Hold still," Johansson mutters, and Jensen has to use his body weight to push the guy off him, dislodge his hands. 

"What the fuck?" Johannson scoffs, reaching for him.

"I told you to ease up," Jensen spits out and stands up gathering his clothes. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing? I paid for the night, kid." 

"Yeah, well, night's over," Jensen says. Johansson shoots of the bed and grabs him before Jensen can dodge. Jensen tries to shake himself loose, and it earns him a slap to the face, the sound of a palm meeting flesh loud in the room.

Crying out, Jensen pushes the guy away and kicks at him hard enough for Johansson to cry out. Jensen stumbles to the door half undressed, and it's only when he's out in the hallway, clutching his clothes to his chest, that the pain in his cheek and wrists really registers.

Jensen calls Briana the moment he gets home. She doesn't sound happy about it, but she doesn't blame him for leaving and even offers for him to take the next night of. Except, the next night is Friday. Jared's night. And Jensen doesn't want to not go, to cancel on Jared of all people.

So he tells Briana it's not that bad. There's a shadow of a bruise on his cheek that he can probably cover up with make-up and his wrists are bruised, too, but it's nothing worse than that. 

"I'm fine," he tells her wryly. "I used to play sports, I've been banged up a lot worse than this, believe me."

Only, Jared doesn't quite seem to agree with that.

"What the hell happened to your face?" he asks when he sees Jensen the next night. Apparently Jensen didn't do that good a job covering up the bruise there and he wishes he'd asked Danneel for help now.

"'s nothing. Got into a fight on campus," he lies.

"Seriously?" Jared asks, his eyes narrowed. 

"Yes, seriously, Jared," Jensen huffs. Annoyed, as if he didn't just lie.

Luckily, Jared drops it then, though he seems a little tense as he ushers Jensen into the house. Instead of going right upstairs, he kisses Jensen in the hallway and then pulls him into the living room.

Kissing, they sink down onto the couch together, and Jensen thinks this is just what he needs. A night with Jared, who never fails to take his mind off anything and everything. Shifting, Jensen kisses Jared a little more deeply, while letting his hand fall to Jared's lap, cupping the growing erection through the cloth of his slacks, squeezing and palming it until it grows hard and thicker under his palm.

"Fuck, sweetheart," Jared murmurs and turns his head, smearing damp kisses along Jensen's jaw, down his neck. It feels good; something as simple as making out shouldn't be this hot, but with Jared it _is_.

Until it stops.

"What?" he asks.

Jared pulls back, eyes cast down to his lap. "Just a fight on campus, huh?" he asks.

Jensen follows his gaze to where the sleeve of his Henley has ridden up, exposing the dark, purple bruise that rings his wrist.

"Just drop it," he mutters, and tugs the material back into place. It's a bit stupid, because they're going to get naked in a bit anyway, but Jensen feels the need to hide these from Jared. 

"I thought leaving marks wasn't allowed?" Jared pushes, and there's something in his voice, a harsh edge, that sets Jensen off.

"Jared," he warns.

"What? I can't even leave a hickey anywhere on you. But now you have freaking bruises all around your wrists and your face and you're telling me that's _okay_?" Jared asks with a scoff.

"I didn't ask for them, okay?" Jensen snaps. "I'm a goddamn hooker. Shit like this happens."

There's a moment of silence following those words and Jensen looks at Jared, finds his expression hard, his jaw set.

"Let's just forget about this," he suggests, voice softer, and leans in for a kiss. Jared turns his head away so Jensen's lips only catch his cheek.

"I'm not in the mood anymore."

"Seriously?"

"Maybe you should just go home, Jensen," Jared says and pushes him away with gentle hands, getting up off the couch.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jensen says, getting up as well and crossing his arms over his chest. The rejection stings more than he cares to admit.

"No, I'm actually quite serious. Go home, Jensen."

Jensen huffs. "So what, your little whore isn't perfect so you don't want him anymore? Can't fuck me when I look like this? Damaged? When you're reminded of what I am? Or maybe of the fact that others have been there, too?" 

The words are clipped, venomous. Jensen isn't sure where it comes from, but it all comes tumbling out of his mouth sudden and angry.

Jared's head snaps toward him, eyes cold in a way Jensen isn't used to seeing. "Don't."

"What? It's what this is about, isn't it?" Jensen says harshly, and he's not even sure why he's doing this, why he's picking a fight, but he can't stop. "I'll tell Miss Buckmaster to send you a replacement, don't worry. Anything particular you're looking for, other than unmarked?"

"Get out," Jared hisses and Jensen suddenly realizes how tall he is, how broad he is, standing in front of him like that. "Get the _fuck_ out, Jensen."

"Gladly," Jensen snaps back.

His anger doesn't last long. The argument was ridiculous and he knows it. Knows he pushed Jared, goaded him, maybe wanted him to say something to hurt Jensen, to prove that his anger at the bruises had nothing to do with Jensen and everything to do with wanting a hooker in perfect condition. And deep down, Jensen never really believed that was true. Jared isn't perfect, isn't a cuddly sweet guy, but he's a good one nonetheless and he's never treated Jensen badly even for a moment.

But he wanted Jared to mean those things he accused him of, in some twisted way, because that would be easier to accept than the fact that maybe Jared was upset because Jensen has been hurt, because _someone_ hurt him. Not the hooker he was booking, but _Jensen_. And that would mean Jared cares. And Jared can't care, shouldn't care, because if he does then things are going to get complicated.

Jensen groans and buries his face in his pillow, the sudden clarity of what is going on making his stomach twist.

He's in love with Jared.


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen waits until the next morning to call the agency to check in. To his surprise, Katie doesn't act any differently on the phone, doesn't tell him Briana needs to talk to him. Doesn't seem to know Jensen left Jared's last night and didn't do his job.

So he asks Katie to be put through instead. Briana seems surprised to hear from him and Jensen decides to not beat around the bush.

"I can't keep seeing Jared," he says.

There's a moment of silence, and then Briana lets out a nervous scoff. "Jensen. What are you talking about?"

"I'm serious," Jensen says. "I need you to assign someone else to Jared. _Please_."

"Has he done something to hurt you? Broken any rules?" Briana asks, her tone getting firmer.

"No. No, he's fine. It's nothing like that," he says. He knows it means Briana can probably guess what's going on, and he doesn't even care. So maybe she'll think he's unprofessional. And maybe he is. But all that matters is that he doesn't have to see Jared again.

"Fine," Briana says, even though she doesn't sound happy about it. Jensen thanks her, his voice quiet, and pretends that the thought of someone else taking his place from now on doesn't break his heart and make him feel sick to the stomach.

"You look kinda miserable," Danneel tells him a few days later, taking a sip of her beer.

They're lying on her bed, his eyes trained on the movie they're watching and he isn't paying any attention to. They've moved on to the Hobbit movies after finishing Lord of the Rings the last time — at Jensen's suggestion, because apparently he isn't feeling miserable enough already and wants to add to his pain and watch a movie that totally ruined one of his favorite childhood books. 

Apparently Jensen has a masochistic streak he never knew about until these past few days.

"So?" he mutters.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" 

"This movie sucks," Jensen says and closes his eyes.

"Jensen."

"I'm an idiot." 

"Okay, _yeah_ ," Danneel says. "Now, wanna tell me why?"

"I can't really," Jensen says and sighs. "Just let me be miserable, Danni. I'll get over it."

"I can't really do that," Danneel says softly, and Jensen feels like his heart is breaking all over again when he looks at her genuine expression. He blinks away tears.

"How about some tequila and ice cream then while we watch this horrible piece of shit," he suggest and Danneel smiles. She scoots closer and kisses his forehead.

"Anything for you, babe," she agrees.

Jensen almost wants to cry when Katie calls him a few later and tells him Jeffrey Dean Morgan has booked a night with him that weekend.

Jeff taking his mind of things is just what he needs.

But as it turns out, not even Jeff can do that.

"Wanna tell me what's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" he asks after the first round, kissing Jensen's temple. He hands Jensen a beer, and Jensen accepts it with a sigh, waits until Jeff is sitting down next to him on the couch. He tugs at the robe he's wearing. 

"Sorry. I'm kinda distracted. You shouldn't have to pay for this... I can talk to Miss Buckmaster, ask her to give you some money back. My pay," he offers, feeling guilt gnawing at his stomach. Jeff deserves better than this, than Jensen not paying attention and being distracted. 

"Jensen. Stop," Jeff chides softly.

"It's not fair to you. Me being like this," Jensen points out.

"I think that's for me to decide. Talk to me, baby." Jeff takes a sip of his own beer and curls his arm around Jensen, tugging him in against his side.

Jensen sighs. "I don't know what to say." 

"I'm sure that's not true." 

"There's a guy," Jensen starts, looking down at the bottle in his hands. 

"Hmm, that client you mentioned before?" Jeff guesses. 

Surprised, Jensen looks up. "How'd you know?" he asks.

Jeff grins. "I'm not an idiot. And you were kinda obvious." 

"Fine," Jensen says and scoffs. "Doesn't matter now anyway." 

Jeff hums and takes a sip from his bottle. "Why not?" he asks after a moment of silence.

"We had a fight. And I told Briana... Miss Buckmaster that I didn't want to see him anymore. So... that's it." 

"You're giving up that easily?" Jeff asks, and the words make Jensen's hackles rise a little.

"There was nothing to give up, Jeff. He was my client, I was the _rentboy_ he hired for sex." 

"You sure that's true?" Jeff asks, and Jensen can tell he doesn't believe it.

"Yeah," Jensen says firmly and puts his bottle down on the table. "I'm sick of talking. Let's just not, okay?"

The smile Jeff gives him is both understanding and pitying, but he nods.

It seems like the more Jensen tries to forget about Jared, the harder it gets. Like the realization that he has feelings for Jared made him unable to think about anything else but him, as if a floodgate has been opened and now Jensen is drowning.

His clients suddenly all seem a lot worse, simply because they're not Jared. He has to actively try to distract himself or else his mind wanders right back to Jared. And every time he sees a tall guy on campus, his heart beats faster.

Until, one day, a couple of weeks later, the guy leaning waiting outside his dorm building _is_ Jared. He's drawing attention to himself, standing there looking all tall and beautiful, wearing one of his expensive suits and sunglasses. Students are turning their heads, looking at him as they walk part. Some curious, some clearly interested.

"What are you doing here?" Jensen asks when he gets closer and pretends his heart isn't beating three times its normal speed and that seeing Jared again doesn't make him want to _cry_.

"I wanted to talk." 

"Well, I don't," Jensen says, because he can't do this. "How did you even find me?" 

"I'm rich, sweetheart," Jared replies with a small grin. "Figuring out where you live and what classes you take wasn't exactly hard." 

Jensen scoffs. "Is that legal?" he asks, accusingly. 

Jared raises his eyebrows, the sunglasses doing nothing to hide the pointed look, or maybe Jensen just knows him too well by now. It makes him shut up anyway, because he isn't one to talk about doing illegal stuff. Neither of them is.

"Jensen," Jared says, his tone softer. 

"What?"

"You're really not going to see me anymore because of what happened? It was just a stupid fight." 

"I was never _seeing_ you," Jensen replies, wrapping his hand around the strap of his backpack just to have something to hold on to. 

Jared clenches jaw, then relaxes. "Come with me." 

"Jared." 

" _Please_." 

Jensen huffs, already knowing he'll give in. "Why?" he asks.

"Because I want us to at least talk about this and if you decide you never want to see me again by the end of it, fine, I'll accept it. But not like this. Please, Jensen?" 

"Fine, okay," Jensen mutters, and pretends not to notice the small pleased smile that makes Jared's lips curve up. 

Jared has his car parked just off campus, a big, sleek black boat of a car. He holds the door open for Jensen, waits until he's settled in before slamming it shut and then rounding the car. Jensen can't help but watch him, the long legs quickly eating up the distance before the door on the driver side is pulled open and he slides in.

"There's coffee and a sandwich for you," Jared says, nodding at the cup in the cup holder and the paper bag next to it.

"Is this going to take long?" Jensen asks with a soft scoff.

"You'll see," Jared says, and guns the car. They drive for a while, in silence, long enough for Jensen to decide to eat the sandwich and drink the coffee, because if Jared is kidnapping him than he at least shouldn't starve.

By the time they finally park, on a small dirt parking place on the edge of a forest outside the city, Jensen's feeling moody. "What are we doing here?" 

"Seemed as good a place as any. And we can have some privacy here... and you can't run away from me," Jared says. He takes his sunglasses off and drops them onto the dashboard.

"So you can kill me?" Jensen jokes. 

Jared shoots him a look. "Jensen, I hope you know the last thing I ever want is to see you get hurt in any way." 

"It was a joke," Jensen mutters. 

"It wasn't funny." 

Jensen sighs. "Sorry." 

"You turned up at my place with bruises all over you," Jared continues, and it's clear he's getting worked up now. "You don't understand, Jensen. You don't get what that did to me." 

"Made you not want me anymore," Jensen mumbles and picks at the small frayed hole at the knee of his jeans.

"Bullshit. It made me want to _kill_ whoever did that to you," Jared snaps. "I like to think I'm not a bad person, Jensen, but I do own a gun and if you'd given me a name I would have goddamn used it. Don't you get that?" 

The words startle Jensen and they terrify him at the same time, because he knows what they imply about Jared's feelings. "I'm just a rentboy, Jared," he tries. "You pay for sex; you don't need to defend my honor or some stupid macho shit like that." 

Jared's jaw clenched, "Don't." 

"It's the truth." 

"Don't turn your life into some sob story, Jensen. Don't do that. We both know better." 

"What are you talking about?" Jensen asks with a scoff, looking out the window at the dark line of trees ahead of them. 

"I'm talking about the fact that you might sleep with guys for money, but that's not what defines you and you goddamn know it. You might want me think it does for some twisted reason only you know, but I'm not falling for it," Jared says and he still sounds mad, like maybe he wants to reach out and shake Jensen and maybe Jensen wants him to. "Your job doesn't mean you're worth less. Doesn't mean someone can't care, can't want to defend you."

"No?" Jensen asks, softer. 

"No. You're a lot more than that. You're smart and hard-working and you have a bright future ahead of you. You were one of the best students in every single class you've taken so far." 

"How do you... one of those money things?" Jensen guesses. 

It startles a laugh from Jared and god, he's asked about Jensen, gathered information about him. "Yeah." 

"So, I'm smart. So what?" 

"You're smart and confident and so damn _pretty_. And the way you are when we're together, the way you lose yourself in the pleasure and in _me_ , is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life." 

"God, you're melodramatic," Jensen mutters, but his lips are tugging up into a small smile now and he's unable to help himself. 

"And you're a stubborn little bitch," Jared shoots back. "And you don't get to tell me that I don't get to care for you. You don't get to tell me that all I want is some flawless, little whore and that the reason I got mad was anything other than the fact that I don't want you to get hurt." 

"Jared," Jensen tries to interject, but Jared shakes his head. 

"Tell me you don't want me. Tell me I'm just like any other of your clients and I'll drop this." 

"Fine. I don't want you," Jensen lies, his heart beating painfully in his chest. 

"Yeah?" Jared asks. "Then I suppose you don't mind hearing about the guy the agency sent over as your replacement. Cute guy. Chase, I believe? Kinda reminded me of you — blond, gorgeous mouth, lithe body." 

Jensen looks away, swallowing. "Shut up." 

"Jensen," Jared says, softer, coaxing. He cups Jensen's cheek, turning to face him, and Jensen's eyes are burning, because he's pathetic. Jared smoothes his thumb over Jensen's cheek. "Sweetheart. He didn't even make it inside the house. I told him to leave and shut the door in his face. And I called Miss Buckmaster and told her if you're not available anymore, then I'm no longer interested in the agency's services. I'm not interested in anyone but you." 

"I hate you," Jensen says and surges up, kissing Jared, because it's too much. Jared being here, saying those things.

Jared makes a soft noise and kisses him back, tangling his fingers in strands of Jensen's hair, tugging, pulling, while he coaxes Jensen's lips apart.

Jensen ends up in Jared's lap after a while, with the seat pushed back. Jared slides his hand down the back of Jensen's pants while they kiss, a finger pressing down between his cheeks. He doesn't push in, just rubs the dry pad of one finger over Jensen's hole, adding pressure. Jensen moans, hips undulating, rocking against Jared's stomach and pressing back against his finger. Jared slides his mouth from Jensen's, trails kisses along his cheek and bites at his jaw, soothing the sting with his tongue. His unoccupied hand settles, warm and firm, in the middle of Jensen's back, holding him close. 

"So pretty. The way you move, sweetheart, the sounds you make. So sweet and desperate," Jared murmurs into his ear. "God, I'd give anything to have you writhing on my lap like that for the rest of my life." 

"J—Jared," Jensen groans. It's too much, his heart squeezing painfully in his chest, pleasure coursing through his body.

"I want you to come for me, just like this. Can you do that?" Jared asks softly, adding just a bit more pressure against Jensen's hole. 

Jensen whimpers, dropping his head to Jared's shoulder. He buries his face in his neck, mouth open against Jared's skin, and Jared hauls him even closer, gives Jensen less room to move. His fingers keep playing with his hole, pressing and stroking over it, the tip of one finger sliding in an inch or so before slipping back out, again and again before he goes back to rubbing. Jensen moans brokenly, hands clutching Jared's shoulders. 

"Wanna hear you, sweetheart. Hear you lose it and come, just like this. Come on," Jared encourages. He nips at Jensen's neck, then sucks an open-mouthed kiss onto Jensen's skin, teeth and lips working and Jensen knows there'll be a bruise there. A claim. His balls draw up, a shudder going through his body, and he muffles his sounds against Jared's neck as he tenses and comes. 

Slumped, he sits on Jared's lap, face turned to the side, cheek resting on Jared's shoulder as he waits for his breathing to calm down, his heart-rate to settle. Jared strokes his back, his other hand still down his pants, cupping his ass now. 

"So beautiful. God, baby, you're so beautiful," he murmurs. 

Jensen snuffles. He shifts a little, feels the hard bulge in Jared's pants, the stickiness in his own boxers. "Gross," he mutters. 

Jared laughs. "We can get in the backseat and I can clean you up," he suggests, nuzzling Jensen's neck. 

Jensen hums in agreement, because he's pretty sure right now Jared could ask anything of him, and he'd do it. 

"And just so you know, I'm not paying for this," Jared adds, his tone light. 

"No, you're not," Jensen agrees.

After take-out dinner at Jared's place, followed by Jared fucking him long and deep in his bed, kissing the moans and whimpers out of Jensen's mouth, they lie curled together. At the far end of the room, a dim light is on, but they're mostly bathed in darkness, Jensen's head resting on Jared's chest, arm thrown around his waist. One of Jared's hands is resting on his elbow, holding him as if he's worried Jensen might pull his arm away otherwise, while he's drawing small patterns on Jensen's back with his other hand.

"I'm not going to quit working," Jensen whispers into the darkness and holds his breath, waiting for a reply.

"I figured you might say that."

"And?"

"And I had a few weeks to think this whole thing through, decide what I wanted and what I'm willing to compromise on," Jared says. "If that's the only way I can have you, fine." 

"Yeah?" Jensen asks, hope blooming in his chest.

"Yeah. Though if this is just about money, I want you to know that I can pay for college and whatever else you need. You don't _have_ to keep working."

Jensen huffs and turns his head, nuzzling Jared's chest. "I'm not taking your money."

"I figured," Jared says and stretches, jostling Jensen a little, with a loud sigh. "I had to fall for the most pig-headed son-of-a-bitch out there, huh?"

The words take a moment to fully register, and they leave Jensen speechless for another. Then he says, softly, "You fell for me?"

Jared snorts. "I didn't think I had to spell that out for you, gorgeous. Sex with you might be amazing, but I can get that elsewhere, too. It wouldn't be enough to make me track you down and chase after you."

Pretending to feel insulted by that is easier than thinking about the fact that Jared is in love with him, so Jensen pinches Jared's side, and Jared snorts out a laugh and pulls him closer. 

"You're ticklish," Jensen notes, a little delighted.

Jared huffs. "Yes. And if you think you can use that to your advantage, think again. I'm not above putting you over my knees and spanking that pretty little ass of yours."

"Yeah?" Jensen says, not at all deterred by those words. He skates his fingers over Jared's sides, grinning at the way Jared squirms and clearly tries to hold back any sounds. His hands are caught in Jared's big, strong ones and in one easy move Jared is on top of him, Jensen's arms pinned over his head.

"You looking for trouble, sweetheart?"

"You know I am," Jensen replies, grinning.

"God, you're perfect," Jared murmurs. He lets go of Jensen's wrists, but Jensen keeps his hands where they are, arching up as Jared's palms slide slowly down to his hips. He lets himself be flipped around, hiding his smile in the pillow. Jared knees over him, palms his ass, kneads the globes.

"You need me to teach you a lesson?"

"Fuck yes," Jensen moans, pushing up into Jared's heated hands. When the first smack lands on his ass, hard enough to smart without really hurting, he moans loudly and arches up into it, his cock already hard.

He was absolutely right when he thought a guy like Jared could make this good for him.

Over the next couple of weeks, Jensen spends most nights at Jared's unless he's working. He can tell Jared isn't completely happy about his job. He's always a little more tense when they talk during days before Jensen has to go meet with a client and the next time they see each other, Jensen will end up pressed against the wall in Jared's foyer the moment he enters the house and Jared will kiss him all rough and deep and claiming, hands roaming over Jensen's body. Jensen appreciates that he never comments on it, though, accepting Jensen's decision. He makes him check in with him before he even checks in with _L.A. Escorts_ after a night with a client, and Jensen thinks it's getting a little ridiculous that he now has to call three people and let them know he's okay. Yet, he can't be mad at Jared for wanting him safe, for caring.

Jared isn't the most sappy guy in the world, but he makes sure Jensen knows he cares. 

He is trying hard to make this thing between them work, to make it _real_. The sex doesn't change, nor the frequency of it, but they talk more, Jared inquiring after his classes, his friends, trying to get to know him better and sharing more about himself with Jensen, too. And Jensen falls so much harder in love with him with each day that it's kind of ridiculous.

Jensen has to borrow one of the agency's cars for a date with Pellegrino in early June. The hotel Jensen was told to come to is pretty out of the way. Pellegrino is one of those people who likes to use a different place every time, though he usually picks a place a little more central than this one.

It's a smaller hotel, not as fancy as the places Jensen's clients usually book. Jensen wonders what that means for the night he's in for. Once, they met at a shabby motel and Pellegrino asked Jensen to dress up like a hooker from the street, all shabby, flimsy clothes and lipgloss, and "act like it". Jensen prepares himself for another night like that, for degrading words and rough hands pushing him around. He almost, _almost_ , told Briana he doesn't want to meet Pellegrino anymore several times over the last couple of months. The last time he met with Pellegrino, a couple of weeks after the incident with his buddy, the man had been even rougher than usual, clearly angry, telling Jensen how he embarrassed him, made him look bad. It had almost been the final straw, but Jensen's too proud to back down, too worried about what Briana will think, and he's trying not to hold Pellegrino's friend against him. He's already cost the agency Jared, and he knows he can't afford to drive another client away.

He parks a couple of blocks away and walks the rest of the way to the hotel, his stomach in knots. He wonders what Jared is doing tonight, and he wishes he could be with him instead. Wishes it would be Jared fucking him soon, Jared who is rough yet oddly gentle at the same time, never failing to overwhelm Jensen and make him seeing stars. 

Sighing, Jensen rounds the last corner, the hotel a little way across the street. He sees two men walk up to the hotel. He recognizes Pellegrino right away, but it takes a second longer for him to realize who the second, less familiar, figure is and he stops short, his breath catching in his throat. He steps back, ducks back around the corner and peers around the building, hoping he hasn't been spotted. He watches the two men hurry inside without glancing around, heads ducked down. 

Johansson. 

Pellegrino brought fucking Johansson with him. 

Jensen's heart is beating wildly, his palms sweaty, and he realizes he's shaking. He turns and stumbles a little before he regains his balance. He doesn't run, though he wants to, just walks briskly, hands jammed into the pockets of his jacket, one curled around the keys to the car, the other around his cell.

Jensen knows he should call the agency, call Briana, but he's not quite sure he can even talk and all he wants in that moment is _Jared_. Wants to bury himself in Jared's strong embrace, until he feels calm again. Until the shock, the sudden onslaught of fear has worn off. If he'd gotten to the hotel a few moments later, he would have walked in there not knowing what he was about to face. Not knowing that — that what? He doesn't know what Pellegrino and Johansson had planned, but he can imagine. Teach him a lesson, get what Johansson paid for but Jensen denied him. Revenge for the embarrassment Pellegrino claimed Jensen caused him. 

Jensen feels bile push up in his throat and he swallows thickly. He gets in the car and guns the engine quickly, not caring that he's probably breaking a speed limit or two as he drives to the other side of the city.

He has to get out to ring the doorbell, the gates around Jared's property closed. His hand is trembling as he presses the button, and he waits, hoping Jared is home. In the pocket of his jacket, his phone vibrates and rings. Briana, no doubt, because Pellegrino must have called her by now, asked her where the hell Jensen was. 

The intercom crackles. 

"Jensen. Get in here, gate's opening," Jared's voice sounds, voice tinny and breaking, and Jensen feels a wave of relief so strong his knees almost buckle.

Jared is waiting at the bottom of the three stairs leading up to his front door. He steps closer as soon as Jensen has the car parked. 

"What are you doing here?" he asks as Jensen gets out. "What's wrong?"

His tone is a bit frantic, worried, and Jensen knows he must look spooked. He pushes right up into Jared's personal space, wrapping his arms around his waist as he presses his face into Jared's neck. Jared's arms come around him, too, and he's held close, tight, the familiarity of it washing over him, soothing him. He breathes in deeply, the air escaping him again in a shuddered breath, and he's really shaking now, body trembling against Jared's.

"Sweetheart. Tell me what's wrong," Jared murmurs, tightening his arms around Jensen even more. "I'm here. Whatever happened, it's okay. I'm here and you're _okay_."

Jensen nods. Jared's right; he's here and okay and unharmed. But he could have not been. Could have been hurt or _worse_. 

"Can we go inside?" he asks, his voice stronger than he expected it to be. His phone starts chirping again then, buzzing.

Jensen takes a step back, out of Jared's embrace, but he fumbles for one of Jared's hands, not quite willing to break contact yet.

"You're not gonna take that?" Jared asks, and Jensen shakes his head.

"Not yet," he says.

Once inside, they sit on the couch. Jensen puts his phone on silent, fingers clumsily skating over the screen. Jared waits, patiently, his serious eyes fixed on Jensen, concern radiating off him. He doesn't say anything. He waits and then keeps quiet as Jensen starts telling him what happened, lets him get it all out, his hand covering Jensen's, thumb swiping back and forth over his knuckles. Jensen is careful not to name any names; because he's contractually obligated not to reveal any names of clients and more so because he's scared of what Jared will do. 

"Maybe I overreacted," he finishes, ducking his head.

"They don't sound like the kind of men who just wanted to have a nice chat with you, sweetheart," Jared says gently, cupping his face and turning it back up. "Are you okay?"

Jensen gives him a small smile. "Yeah. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Listening. Being here," Jensen says and scoots closer, then adds softly. "I feel safe with you."

"You are," Jared says. "Christ, of course you are."

He pulls Jensen in close and Jensen rests his head on Jared's shoulder, happy to just lie like that for a few moments, soak in Jared's closeness, his heat, his comfort.

Eventually, Jensen calls Briana. The call is tense and awkward. Pellegrino has already called her to complain about Jensen's absence and it's not that she doesn't believe him, but she asks him if he's really sure that the other guy with Pellegrino was Johansson. 

"Yes. _Yes_ , I'm sure," Jensen stresses when she asks for a second time. Jared is watching him, his expression tight, clearly getting upset on Jensen's behalf as well, and Jensen grabs his hand.

"Look, I don't know why he was there, too, but I wasn't going to walk in there and find out," Jensen says, trying to sound calmer. "You're the one always stressing how important it is that we're safe."

"Of course," Briana says. "I'll get to the bottom of this. Okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks," Jensen says and hangs up after a quick goodbye. He texts Danneel, too, just a quick message to say he already finished the job and is at Jared's now. He feels a little bad about lying, but he doesn't have the energy to explain what happened again. When he's done, he puts his phone down and curls up against Jared's side again. Jared's arms come around him and he holds him close, kisses the top of his head.

"Want do you need?" he asks, smoothing a hand down Jensen's arm. Jared isn't usually this affectionate. He's starting to open up more, trying even though Jensen never asked him to, but not like this. On any other day, Jared's hands would already have found their way under his shirt, seeking more, getting them both riled up. It lets Jensen know just how worried he is, how freaked out, and oddly enough, it makes him feel better, knowing he isn't alone in this. That Jared gets it.

"Can we go to bed?" Jensen asks and tips his head back to peer up at Jared. He gets a small kiss, soft lips brushing over his, and then Jared nods.

"Yeah. Come on," he says. They get up from the couch and Jared leads Jensen upstairs, their hands clasped.

They get ready for bed almost silently, brushing their teeth and stripping off their clothes before sliding under the sheets on opposite sides of the bed. Jared's hands find him right away, pulling Jensen against him. Their lips meet in a kiss, one that's soft and languid, and it takes a while before either of them moves things forward. Before Jensen starts rocking against Jared, moaning at the feel of Jared's big, hard cock against his hip. Before Jared's hands stop petting him and start seeking more.

The lube Jensen used to prep himself earlier that evening has gone tacky, and Jared works him open all over again with fingers coated liberally in slick.

When he's done and reaching for a condom from the dresser, Jensen shifts onto his stomach wordlessly, kicking the sheets off and pulling one leg up and out, bent at the knee. Jared settles over him, kisses the side of his neck and then slowly sinks into him. He works himself in inch by inch, until he's buried all the way inside of Jensen, his body covering Jensen's. 

It's slow.

Jared moves his hips in smooth, short thrusts, rutting into Jensen's body, keeping him filled up and stretched around him. Neither of them say more than each other's names, soft moans and gasps falling from their mouths as Jared works them to release.

When they're done, Jared curls up against him and slides one leg between Jensen's, nudging them apart. He runs a hand down Jensen's damp back, kisses his shoulder as his hand slides lower, fingers slipping down between his cheeks, skating over his loose, slightly sore hole before pressing in. It's slow and lazy, wouldn't be enough to get Jensen off if he wasn't so sensitive. Right now, the stimulation is too much, somewhere between pleasurable and overwhelming, and Jensen's breath hitches, moving his hips, not sure whether to push for more or try to get away. 

He keens when Jared finds his prostate, taps his fingers against it, a rhythmic _pressure — gone, pressure — gone_. 

"Jared," Jensen slurs, the sound wet and broken. He fists his hands in the sheets under his body, turns his face into the pillow and pants. Jared kisses his shoulder again. 

"Gonna come for me like this, sugar?" he drawls, pressing his thumb into the flesh of Jensen's ass, fingers moving relentlessly inside him, abandoning his prostrate to slide in and out a few times, deep, _deeper_. Jensen gasps in a broken breath and comes, spilling hotly onto the mattress under him, the feeling too much, pleasure so sharp it almost hurts. Jared keeps his fingers inside of him, unmoving now, and kisses his shoulder, his neck, murmuring softly into Jensen's ear, words of how much he adores him, how pretty he is, how he's _Jared's_.

"Yeah. _Yeah_ ," Jensen agrees, feeling on the verge of tears suddenly. It's true. He might sleep with other guys, but he's Jared's now. 

Completely. Irrevocably.

When Jensen goes home the next morning, he doesn't go back to his dormroom, but to Danneel's instead. 

She seems to be able to tell something is wrong, because she wordlessly lets him crawl into her bed and then joins him, curling up close.

She runs her hand through his hair while he tells her about Pellegrino, carefully avoiding the mention of any names. And when he's done telling her about it, he just keeps going and tells her about Jared, too. About how they met and the fall-out and how amazing he is and how goddamn in love he is with him.

Briana calls him in for a meeting two days later. 

Katie, her assistant, smiles at him, kind and sympathetic, as she waves him in. Jensen has no doubt that she knows what happened and he smiles back tightly before ducking into the office.

"Jensen," Briana says and meets him in the middle of the room, shaking his hand while patting his arm with her free one. "Thank you for coming by on such a short notice. I hope you're not skipping any classes?"

"No, ma'am," Jensen says, shaking his head.

"That's good," Briana says and waves him toward a chair. "Sit down. How are you?"

Jensen looks down at his hands for a short moment, before shrugging. "I'm okay."

Briana nods. "I'm sure you can guess why I asked you here," she says, the words a little stiff. "I talked to Mr. Pellegrino and we had a long meeting yesterday."

"And?"

Briana gives him a tense smile. "He insists he doesn't know what you're talking about. That he was alone at the hotel and you never showed."

"Of course."

"Jensen. I believe you," Briana says, her tone softer now. "Of course I do. But as it is it's your word against his."

"What does that mean?"

"That Mr. Pellegrino will be refunded for that night," Briana says and grimaces. "And we've both agreed that it's best if he books dates with a different escort from now on."

"So he's still a client here?" Jensen asks, his stomach twisting. It's not right. After all the things Briana has said about their safety, all the effort she puts into ensuring they're never in danger, she shouldn't be keeping him on as a client. And sure, Jensen might not have to see him anymore, but others will.

Briana sighs. "He's been a regular customer for years, Jensen."

"So you'll look the other way because he brings in a lot of money," Jensen accuses.

"There's never been a problem with him before. I know his taste is more... on the rougher side of things, but he's never hurt anyone. I've warned him, but that's all I can do at this point," Briana says. The thing is, she doesn't sound upset by Jensen's accusation, doesn't sound like she blames him for it and somehow that makes it worse. Knowing that she knows he's right.

"Great."

"Jensen. I'm running a business. I'm sure you understand that."

"Yeah," Jensen says hollowly.

"Okay," Briana says and nods. "So, now that that's out of the way, I wanted to talk to you about your schedule, too. You have lots of available spots open now that Mr. Pellegrino and Mr. Padalecki are no longer your clients."

Jensen tenses at the mention of Jared's name.

"I have some dates booked for you for the next few weeks already. New clients. Probably nothing long-term."

"So, I'm not getting any regulars anymore," Jensen concludes.

Briana makes a face, her discomfort showing. "Just for now. I'd do that with anyone in your position. And you'll keep your old regulars, of course," she says, but they both know there aren't a lot of those left without Jared and Pellegrino. "You understand where I'm coming from, right? And it wouldn't be fair to everyone else, even if the situation with Mr. Pellegrino wasn't your fault."

Jensen presses his lips together and nods. He knows there's nothing he can do, Briana being the boss and all, and he also gets what she isn't saying loud and clear: She doesn't blame him for how things ended with Pellegrino, but she does think the thing with Jared is his fault, and it's not like Jensen can explain, can tell her that feelings got in the way and by the way, he's giving it up to Jared for free now. 

"I understand," he says, obediently, and for the first time he thinks maybe _L.A. Escorts_ isn't all he's built it up to be in his head after all.

Jensen is a lot more lackluster about his job after that day, about the new clients. He knows this and he feels a little guilty for it, too, but he can't help it.

As much as Jensen loves having sex, he finds himself enjoying it a lot less, even with clients who aren't bad at it. But it's not their hands he wants on him, their lips he wants to kiss, their dicks he wants to feel inside of him. And for the first time, it makes him really feel cheap. Like every image people have about how hookers must feel — someone who does this because he has to but finds no enjoyment in it. The moans and pleas and encouragement that fall from his lips are mostly faked now, and he can't wait for his appointments to be over, so he can go home and shower the sweat and stench of sex off. So he can meet Jared and replace all those memories with him instead.

"You should quit," Danneel says softly, one afternoon as they're sitting together in his dorm room, both of them pretending to study, though neither of them have really turned a page in the books they have opened for the past fifteen minutes.

"What?" Jensen asks.

"Quit," Danneel repeats. "You _hate_ it."

"I don't hate it."

"Oh no? I can barely talk to you on the days you work anymore, Jensen. You're all pissy and tense and you keep telling me how you'd rather stay in." 

The words startle Jensen a little, because he had no idea he was that bad. That Danneel would take notice. "So, nobody loves his job," he tries.

Danneel sighs. "That's different and you know it. Look, I've been keeping an open mind about the whole thing and you seemed okay with doing what you do. And that's all that mattered, really. But now you're not okay with it anymore. I can't just stand by and not say anything, because I can tell you're not happy."

"I need the money," Jensen says and shrugs. "I can't let Jared pay for me. I can't do that."

Danneel deflates. "And there's no other way?"

Jensen shakes his head, because it's not like he hasn't thought about it. There wasn't another way to earn enough money to stay in school before he started working for Briana and there isn't now either. 

"It's one more year before we graduate. And I'm pretty sure I can get a scholarship for my M.A.," he says. "I'm kinda banking on that. And I've been putting money aside as much as I can, so I think I should be able to pay for the last semester without working."

"So, about six months or so then?"

"Yeah. That's not that bad, right?" Jensen asks. "I can get through that, right?"

"You can. We can, you and I, together," Danneel says and takes his hand in hers, squeezing.

Jared takes him jet skiing on Saturday afternoon, because apparently that's something he loves to do and he insists that Jensen will like it, too. There's something freeing about shooting over the open water on the jet skis, water splashing up around him, and there's a grin etched widely on Jensen's face by the time they are back on dry land. 

He kisses Jared on the dock, smiling. "Thank you," he says. 

"Figured you'd like it," Jared says, fingers slipping down over Jensen's wet board shorts. 

"Yeah. Dude, that's a much better date than dinner and a movie," Jensen says and then hesitates. "This _is_ a date, right?" 

"I think that's generally what you call it when a couple goes out and does stuff together," Jared replies and nods. 

"Thank you." 

Jared grins. "Date's not over yet," he says.

"No?" Jensen asks and smiles up at Jared. The time in the sun has made the bridge of Jared's nose turn a little red and his hair is wind-swept and messy. Jensen reaches up and runs his fingers through the tangled strands, smoothing them down.

"Thought we could have an early dinner. I've never taken you to one of my restaurants," Jared points out. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah," Jared says. "What, you thought I was never going to take you to one of them?"

"No, of course not," Jensen says and shrugs. "Do I need to wear something fancy? They're kinda upscale, right?" 

"I've got stuff for you at my place," Jared admits and drops a kiss onto Jensen's mouth.

Jensen raises his eyebrows. "Stuff?" 

"Just jeans and a button up. Your own things, so they'll fit just fine."

"How'd you get them?" Jensen asks suspiciously, finally pulling out of Jared's embrace. He starts undoing the clasps of his life jacket, not really too worried. He wouldn't really care if Jared got into his room and went through his stuff — he doesn't keep secrets from him anyway, and having Jared surprise him with a night out is pretty sweet.

"Your friend, Danneel," Jared says and starts taking of his life jacket as well. 

Jensen stops at looks at him, surprised. "Danneel? You've talked to _Danneel_?" 

Jared shrugs. "I met her when I met you on campus a couple of weeks ago." 

"I didn't know that. Did I?" Jensen asks, and Jared shrugs.

"It's not like we've been hanging out. I was waiting for you at the dorm and she dropped by and we talked for a few minutes." 

"But you clearly had a way of contacting her," Jensen points out, letting the life jacket slide down his shoulders. 

"We exchanged numbers. Thought it might come in handy," Jared says, looking a little guilty now. "You know, just in case." 

"In case what?" 

Jared sighs. "Something ever happened to you, Jensen," he says, sounding a little weary.

"Oh," Jensen replies, and the words make something in his stomach tug uncomfortably. Not because _he_ isn't aware that something could happen to him, but because he never really thought about how it must make Danneel and Jared feel. He knows they worry, but until now, it's not been something he's really thought about. Didn't realize it was something they were apparently preparing for, at least in so far that they thought they needed to be able to contact each other.

And it makes him feel pretty horrible, thinking about it now.

Jared's restaurant is fancier than any place Jensen has ever been, too, but Jared seems to have known that.

"You don't have to like it," he says once they're seated. 

And then he walks Jensen through the menu, warning him off of some things he assumes Jensen won't like. Jensen thinks he would have happily gone through life not knowing what foie gras is and just how it's made, and he is half tempted to ask Jared to just take him to a burger place instead.

He's glad he doesn't though, because the steak Jared recommends is pretty damn amazing and even though the place is a bit too fancy, Jensen enjoys himself. Jared is good company, the food is great, and it's kind of funny to see the staff bend over backwards to please Jared and, by extension, him. 

His glass is never empty and the slice of sinfully good chocolate cake he orders for dessert looks suspiciously big compared to the desserts he's seen other people around the place getting.

Jensen is tempted to lick the plate clean when he's done, but for Jared's sake he refrains. The waiter brings Jared a white cardboard box with the restaurant's logo when they're getting ready to leave, though.

"What's that?" Jensen asks, though he can already guess.

"More cake. For later," Jared says and winks at him. He picks up the box and takes Jensen's hand in his other one, walking him outside.

Back at his house, after having put the cake into the fridge, Jared gets them both a beer and leads them out onto the porch. They sit down on the porch swing together, and Jared hands Jensen a small, white card before sliding his arm around him.

"What is this?" Jensen asks and peers down at the writing on the card. "Jared, is that a business card for a porn site?"

"Yes," Jared says, and Jensen narrows his eyes at him.

"What the hell?" he asks. "Why are you giving me this?"

"It's for a job," Jared says.

"A... what?" Jensen asks, not sure if he heard Jared correctly or if Jared is maybe pulling a prank on him.

"You need more money than you can make working a regular part time job. And you won't take mine," Jared explains patiently. He takes a sip from his beer, then rests the bottle on his knee, long fingers wrapped casually around the glass. 

"I have a job," Jensen points out. 

"Which you don't like." 

Jensen sighs.

"Danneel?" he guesses.

"Yeah, the topic has come up when we talked. But I'm not an idiot, I noticed myself," Jared says with a pointed look, and Jensen feels a little guilty for not talking to him about it. "So, I found a solution. A compromise, if you will." 

"I don't see how that's different to what I'm doing now; I'd still be sleeping with men for money," Jensen says, flipping the card over.

"No, this would be just you," Jared says and shifts, their legs pressing together. "You'd be doing solo videos."

"Wait. Really?" Jensen asks and he flips the card back around, looking at the name and address printed on there with renewed interest.

"Yeah, I kinda know a guy who knows a guy and it's all legit. All you have to do is shoot some videos of you getting yourself off. Toys and props, but other than that just your hand. Nobody else," Jared promises. "I'll even help you shoot the videos." 

He waggles his eyebrows and Jensen can't help but grin. "Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"I don't know," Jensen says, biting down on his bottom lip. It's not ideal, far from it, but it does sound better than his current arrangement. Still, the thought of filming himself, having videos of himself out there on the internet kind of scares him more than selling his body does.

"Jensen, the money is good. It's enough," Jared says. "It's not as much as you're making right now, but it's really not bad." 

"Is it safe though? I mean, _everyone_ could see it," Jensen points out. He draws his legs up onto the swing, getting more comfortable, and takes a sip from his beer. 

"Everyone signing up for an account on a porn site targeted at gay men," Jared says. "You don't have to use your name and I've watched a few of the videos and talked to the guy in charge. You can shoot it in a way that your face won't be plastered all over it." 

"Yeah?" 

"Absolutely. And you're only looking for something short-term, right? No offense, but you probably won't look like a cute little twink for the rest of your life. In a few years, nobody will recognize you, sweetheart." 

The light-hearted jab makes Jensen grin and he elbows Jared in the side. "You just want videos of me jerking off," he teases. 

"I can get those either way, can't I?" Jared asks, raising one eyebrow. There's something in the way he says it, cool and sure, that makes Jensen's stomach swoop. 

"Yeah, but I'd want something in return," he says confidently. 

Jared's lips twitch into a smile. "Anything," he says and kisses Jensen's temple. "So, you'll think about it?"

"Filming myself for you?" Jensen jokes and Jared grins, nuzzling his temple affectionately.

"The job."

"Yeah. I will," Jensen promises.

Briana doesn't sound very surprised when Jensen tells her he's quitting two weeks later, even though she does try to change his mind. She offers a better deal, less hours and other clients, but Jensen declines the offer without second thought.

His last appointment is a few days later and then he drops in at the agency one last time, for a final meeting with Briana and to say goodbye to everyone. On his way out, he pulls Katie aside.

"I need a favor from you," he says, keeping his voice quiet.

Katie grins. "What do you need, sugar?" she asks.

Jensen drops by the hotel Jeff is staying at a good thirty minutes before his replacement is supposed to be there. Jeff looks surprised when he opens the door and finds him there, but he smiles and lets him inside. 

"I was told you quit."

"I did," Jensen says. "Just wanted to say bye, I guess."

Jeff grins softly and hugs him, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. "It's good to see you one more time, baby. How are you?" 

"Fine. Good, actually." Jensen says and they break apart. 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah. I—I met someone," Jensen admits and sits down on the couch, Jeff taking the place next to him. 

"Hmm, I figured you eventually would. He treating you all right?" 

Jensen nods. "Yeah. He's great." 

"A client?" Jeff guesses with a small smile.

Jensen flushes and shrugs. 

"Yeah." 

"I can guess which one," Jeff says and grins. "And I can't say I'm surprised someone eventually had the sense to snatch you up, baby." 

"Maybe I snatched him up," Jensen says with a cocky smirk. 

"I suppose you did, yeah," Jeff concedes. 

Jensen stays for almost twenty minutes, before he gets up to leave. He knows that if whoever is replacing him sees him, Katie might get in trouble and that's the last thing he wants. They exchange numbers before Jeff walks him to the door.

"Hey. Who is the agency sending?" Jensen asks before he leaves, curious. 

"Guy's name's Tom. Miss Buckmaster sent me a picture and the info sheet a few days ago," Jeff says and raises one eyebrow. "I gotta say she has good taste in employees." 

Jensen laughs. "Yeah. You'll like him," he promises. 

"I think I will," Jeff agrees.

Jensen goes straight back to Jared's after leaving the hotel and waits for him to come back from work. He has the code for the gate and a key now, so he goes inside and makes himself comfortable in the living room with a book he needs to read for class. 

"Honey, I'm home," Jared calls out when he comes back, voice loud and cheerful. "Come and give me a proper greeting, gorgeous." 

Jensen laughs and goes to greet Jared in the foyer. Jared meets him for a kiss, pulling him close, and then he picks him up easily, pressing Jensen up against the wall as he deepens the kiss. 

"That's what I call a proper welcome home," Jared says when they part, a smug smile on his lips. 

"I think we could do better," Jensen says. 

"Yeah?" 

"Oh yeah. Let's take this to the bedroom," he suggests. 

"Well, then," Jared says and sets Jensen back down. "Lead the way." 

Jensen grins and saunters past Jared to the stairs, glancing back over his shoulder, finds Jared's eyes fixed low. "You watching my ass, baby?" 

"Can't help it." 

"It's okay," Jensen says and starts climbing the stairs. "Oh, and Mr. Padalecki?" 

"Yes, Mr. Ackles?" Jared replies.

Jensen stops and turns fully around, grinning, "This ass? It's all yours as of today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! ♥
> 
> You can also find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/whispered_story), [tumblr](whispered-story.tumblr.com/) and [livejournal](http://akintay.livejournal.com/)!


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